Friday, February 08, 2008

Recently, I am feeling not myself. The feeling is kind of weird. Maybe it is new year or maybe it is nearing to the release of A levels. Either case, it is causing a surge of emotions in me.

I have been thinking about my A levels results. I have made quite a number of plans on what to do after recieving my results. If my result is really bad(which stands a very high chance), I will be redoing my As in army. I will be signing up as a private candidate and study while I am in army. It is the best solution I have, unless I can find some ways to get my hands on a few thousand for me to kick start my own business.

Maybe this is the reason for my emo-ness recently. I have been very emo this few nights before I fall asleep. Friends out there, I will be missing out on many of the gatherings and outings. Reason being that I am either busy, booked or I do not have the mood to go out. I can't entertain people while I am emo-fied. So please don't give me pressure by asking me why. But for those whom I promised a date, I will surely fulfill my promise.

Or maybe it is army that made me so cranky. I have this urge to enter into army as soon as possible. The wait is killing me. I don't even have the mood to do camps anymore. It is just too long a wait. I don't even wish to postpone it to April. I just want to go in and come out as fast as I can.

Don't even think about relationship. I have made it clear to all that now is not the time for relationship. Maybe when I enter into army and get too used to the routine. But now, I just want to use my time for other things. I have not tried many things and I don't intent to give them all up just because of relationship.

Maybe it is friendship. Even since I am doing camp, I have less time with my friends. I really wish to spend time with them but I simple don't have the time. If you know who you are and is reading this blog, hope you will understand. I really miss you guys. After I go into army, I guess I will have less time for you.

I think it is all of this added up together that made me so emo. Valentine's day next week is also another problematic date. I hope to shun away from the crowd and avoid everyone.