extremsad

emo again..

2010-07-18T19:03:00.002+08:00

Feeling emo again...

Don't know why, don't know how...

Hate this feeling..

The only time I don't have this feeling is when Jiahao is around me... my only (ex)brother..

Think i will emo at JBAC for the next weekend...

nice story...

2010-07-10T15:27:00.001+08:00

The first day of school our professor introduced himself and challenged us to get to know someone we didn't already know. I stood up to look around when a gentle hand touched my shoulder.

I turned around to find a wrinkled, little old lady beaming up at me with a smile that that lit up her entire being.

She said, "Hi, handsome. My name is Rose. I'm eighty-seven years old. Can I give you a hug?" I laughed and enthusiastically responded, "Of course you may!" and she gave me a giant squeeze.

"Why are you in college at such a young, innocent age?" I asked.

She jokingly replied, "I'm here to meet a rich husband, get married, have a couple of children, and then retire and travel."

"No seriously," I asked. I was curious what may have motivated her to be taking on this challenge at her age.

"I always dreamed of having a college education and now I'm getting one!" she told me.

After class we walked to the student union building and share a chocolate milkshake. We became instant friends. Every day for the next three months we would leave class together and talk nonstop. I was always mesmerized listening to this "time machine" as she shared her wisdom and experience with me.

Over the course of the year, Rose became a campus icon and she easily made friends wherever she went. She loved to dress up and she reveled in the attention bestowed upon her from the other students. She was living it up.

At the end of the semester we invited Rose to speak at our football banquet. I'll never forget what she taught us. She was introduced and stepped up to the podium. As she began to deliver her prepared speech, she dropped her three by five cards on the floor. Frustrated and a little embarrassed she leaned into the microphone and simply said, "I'm sorry I'm so jittery. I gave up beer for Lent and this whiskey is killing me! I'll never get my speech back in order so let me just tell you what I know."

As we laughed she cleared her throat and began: "We do not stop playing because we are old; we grow old because we stop playing. There are only four secrets to staying young, being happy, and achieving success. "You have to laugh and find humor every day. You've got to have a dream. When you lose your dreams, you die. We have so many people walking around who are dead and don't even know it!"

"There is a huge difference between growing older and growing up. If you are nineteen years old and lie in bed for one full year and don't do one productive thing, you will turn twenty years old. If I am eighty-seven years old and stay in bed for a year and never do anything I will turn eighty-eight. Anybody can grow older. That doesn't take any talent or ability. The idea is to grow up by always finding the opportunity in change."

"Have no regrets. The elderly usually don't have regrets for what we did, but rather for things we did not do. The only people who fear death are those with regrets."

She concluded her speech by courageously singing The Rose. She challenged each of us to study the lyrics and live them out in our daily lives. At the years end Rose finished the college degree she had begun all those years ago.

One week after graduation Rose died peacefully in her sleep.

Over two thousand college students attended her funeral in tribute to the wonderful woman who taught by example that it's never too late to be all you can possibly be.

far away..

2010-06-29T21:39:00.002+08:00

Going off to st john's island for 4d3n...

By the time i get back.. what will happen??

I hope people sms me to talk to me...

Really hope to hear from that special someone....

long time...

2010-06-27T21:47:00.002+08:00

I haven come to this page for a very long time.

I guess its time again to start writing this blog...

To revive this page again and have a place to write down my feelings...............

Envy...

2009-10-25T15:14:00.002+08:00

Read my friend's blog and I am so envious of him. What would you think of living in many countries over your life? Is it sad to say goodbye to your friends? Or hello to a new world? Can you let go of the familiar environment and friends and go to a whole new place all alone?

I am really determine now to earn lots of money and travel to a whole new world. I am but a small peck of sand in this large undefined universe. But to be able to travel the wind and towards a new place and environment is a blessing that not many can enjoy. Many people will not be able to leave behind their friends and family much less to say going to a whole new environment. It is a sad scene and emotional time. Words alone can describe the loneliness and sorrow of separation.

If I have the money to do what I want, the first thing I will do is to travel the world to find a place my heart belong. To be able to go overseas and to other countries is such a fortunate thing. I really long to be able to go to a whole new environment and leave all the worries and trouble of this world behind. Maybe that is also the reason why I do camps. To be able to travel from place to place, meet new people and do new things.

Maybe the bad thing is that you don't have close friends to share a listening ear. But I don't worry about that. Sometimes I rather keep everything to myself than to expose my weakness to others and be attacked by them. It is sad, but that is the life I chose. Often than not, I find that I have no one to turn to when I have a problem. But going through so many things, I have learn to rely on myself. Turning back to God is maybe my answer to all my problems.

God is the only one that can deliver me from all these problems and bring me to a faraway place. A place with no sorrow, pain or suffering. Friends in God is better than friends in this world.

the abseiling behind it all...

2009-09-27T21:18:00.003+08:00

Who says abseiling is easy? What you see here is the real abseiling system. What you have been doing for abseiling is for kids. Chicken feet i mean.

If you want to do this, let me know. I am proud to say I am the creator of this. Time to beat, 30 minutes. If you think this is easy, try doing one. If you can do it without any mistake, I will say you are good. But trust me, this is really difficult to do. It is really complicated.

Vertical ascend with just a cord? Sounds easy? Try it out. It is beyond what words can explain. It is really fun to do all this. But did I mention that it is also very tiring? After a day of abseiling, I almost wanted to die. My whole body is aching and hot that I can't move much. My fingers are all shaking even when I am typing this.

chinese...

2009-09-21T21:45:00.002+08:00

不知道为什么想要用华文来写这则网路日记。可能会比较轻且。

心理不知道为什么有一种莫名的烦和忧虑。说不上来是什么造成

的，也说不上几时才能消失。但唯一能了解的是这心情使我坐立

难安。可能是我年龄太老了，烦恼才慢慢的从我脑里浮现。也可

能是杞人忧天。

对未来的太多未知数使我无法对此而乐观。逃避再也不是答案

了。也许我需要的是一个能自在的叙述心事的人。或许是一个能

让我依靠的人，能让我感觉世间的温暖。能使我忘记忧愁。好多

的烦恼也不知道从哪里而来更不知道要如何才能解决。这更加使

我烦上加烦。

如果可以，我真的很想从人间蒸发。或是做个隐形人，所作的一

切都不会受到瞩目。好想到一个人烟稀少的小岛，和几个志同道

合的好友过上几个星期。享受一下没有心计的纯朴香椿小镇。

好多的欲望，好多的渴望。但很少的机会来实现这些欲念。真的

好想有个人能使我这小小的要求成为真实。

all over again...

2009-09-20T11:57:00.002+08:00

Too long never blog already. Reason? Nothing to blog about. Life is too boring. NS, NS and still NS. Nothing special, nothing fun. I am really sick of the life. I am really sick of wearing that uniform already. I want to wear back my red tees!!

i hate army from the start and until now, I still hate it. It is not getting any better. I hate the way people play with rank and act big. I hate the way things work. It is so much better just being a civilian without playing rank at all. I hate when people just go through motion doing things and not consider about others. They want others to follow their rules but they change the rules themselves. How can I follow such leadership? I am not better than them and I know that. But do they know they are not that fantastic? If not why put themselves in leadership position when they can't lead? I am like a wild horse which will only be tamed by capable leaders.

I prefer being in camp where everyone is the same. Not ranks and not arrogance. Everyone is doing it for passion and willing to help out each other with little backstabbing. Those that lead us are all capable people. If not, I won't even go over to do passion for them or even help them out in their activities. Much less to say campfire.

Soon I will have the chance to do a camp. But it is primary school. Not really what I want, but no choice I guess. Now is almost time for secondary schools to have their exams. I guess I will return in oct or maybe nov. Hope things will get better by then.

war...

2009-07-11T21:31:00.002+08:00

Sometimes I really hope war will happen. Be it in the mortal realm or the spiritual. Where we bring our own army into war, in literal sense. I like the idea of having my own man and bringing them out to fight a battle.

I find peace time too boring. Having to think of what to do and who to go out with is such a stupid thing. If there is really a war, we have our men to be with us and we will fight objectives together. There is no one to say what is right what is wrong. There is only to conquer or not. To survive or die. The best way to prove your abilities is to survive a battle and come out victorious.

Everyone is playing with their ranks. If there was a chance to redo everything, I would have worked harder and be an officer. Or even be more outstanding to be a platoon sergeant. Then I will have the power to do something. Now I am like a meat patty, sandwiched inbetween all the ranks and being forced to do what I don't like.

Taiwan???

2009-06-28T09:39:00.000+08:00

Anyone want to go Taiwan end of the year?????

2009-06-23T16:33:00.001+08:00

LOST IN TRANSGRESSION......

WHERE ARE MY FRIENDS WHEN I NEEDED YOU????

deep thoughts...

2009-05-30T21:27:00.002+08:00

Human. What are we actually? Sometimes I don't understand how we can be so self-centered. I am also guilty of it. When problem arises, we just try our means to escape any responsibilities.

Sometimes I just hope to stay in Tekong. It is just so peaceful. Nobody there to disturb you. When we off our handphone, we are practically free of all the other people. No one can find you. We can go run to anywhere our feet can bring us and just sit down to meditate. We can find a place to ponder about life and escape from the fast pace society.

I really hope to find such a place on our main land Singapore. Cycle there and just find a nice spot and just take a short break to watch the world move round without having to participate in it. Maybe even to have a close friend beside to chat about any thing possible. I don't understand why must we be in the world to experience all these pain, suffering, joy and even anticipation.

I hope I can earn alot of money now and after I end this national service, I can go to some nice country to enjoy what the world can offer. To see this world in a different light and to gain better understanding of myself and this world.

meaning of life...

2009-05-24T13:15:00.002+08:00

What is the meaning of life? What does it mean to live in this earth? Some might say for the riches of this world or maybe even the exciting things to do. It could also be because of the friends that is here with us. But is that the only cause of our existence?

Having to know Christ will provide a totally different reason for our living. No I am not promoting Christianity if you are thinking. It just struck me that I have being feeling quite empty since I entered army. I have been too busy to find time to go Church and I have been finding excuses to miss Sunday worship. I really miss the time in Church. No need to bother who is there and what to do. The most important thing is the spiritual nourishment we receive week after week.

I am not the hardcore type of Christian but I believe that what has been written in the bible is worth our time reading and practicing. What harm is there to learn good? What harm is there to practice the right way? Yes, entering heaven's gate might be the most important thing in our life, but we can't forget that there is still someone else out there that might need us. Even if it means for us to deviate in our path a little.

So many things that happen still can't satisfied the void that is in me. Not the excitement of new recruits nor the fun time doing shit with them. It still feels empty. What are we truly living for? That is the question I want to know. Being able to achieve so much in life but still not enough to satisfy the hunger. Some see the life I am living to be fun and look up to it. Being a camp instructor, BMTC instructor and even having so many qualifications. But it still is not enough. It is not about all this that matters. This are just the momentary pleasure that will fade away.

I am at the crossroad once again. Not knowing where to go, what to do. Am I too stubborn to open up my ears and heart to the voice above? Can anyone guide me what to do from here?

Finally...

2009-05-17T16:36:00.002+08:00

Finally all the weekend duties have ended. I don't know when was the last time I had a normal book out. After this week I can finally enjoy all the normal timings. Hopefully not to be so emo in camp.

I think its time to plan for some activities to improve myself. I have already ordered my bike, now it is only waiting for me to go down to collect. Next will be to enroll in some course. Power boat, abseiling level 2 and even kayaking. To be jack of all trade is not easy, but I will try to achieve that in the shortest time.

Who wanna go eat some good food next weekend? Or maybe go dempsey hill to have ben and jerry? Just plan some activity for me to do.

back...

2009-05-02T12:49:00.003+08:00

To start, I know I have been away for very long. 3 weeks to be exact. I feel like I have missed out on a lot of things. It is all due to some army thing that will always happen. But I don't think I want to touch much on it.

Anyway, have been really boring recently. Nothing much is happening, no excitement, no girls, no camp, no nothing. Sick of being in army. Really want to seek an escape. Away from the crowd and into a retreat. But I don't think it will happen. Now is all about army only. All the high key event back to back is driving me crazy.

Going back later for field camp preparation. I also don't know what is there to prepare. I have nothing special to do at all. It is really annoying to book in so early to do nothing. In fact booking in on a Saturday is stupid. Who in the right mind would plan such a thing? Maybe is those with high ranks who forget about other people's inconvenience.

Back to what I did for this short weekend break. Yesterday went over to Dempsey hill to chill out and listen to some live band. Elusion featuring Melissa. It is an awesome group, nothing much I can say. One thing bad is that it is not really accessible by foot. So it will be best with a transport. But that is not a problem. The band is going to perform over at a new chill out place just at the premise of the old specialise centre. I am sure going to bring some friends over to watch.

Another thing is that I am going to buy a new bicycle. You will think it is crazy to spend 1K on a bike. I am thinking the same too. But I am still trying to find better deals. Giant, GT, Swiss, etc. Not sure which brand to get.

I really miss good food. Don't know when I can go and eat something nice and chill out at a relaxing place. A nice verse I heard from someone; friends come and go, but family members will stay forever. How true it is. I really how to have friends as close as family.

thinking...

2009-04-05T17:56:00.003+08:00

Feeling cranky lately. I don't know what's wrong with me. Maybe is that missing element in me? I really don't know.

My fun in camp in coming to an end. After this, I am going to book in back to tekong. After this coming week, a new batch of recruits is coming in. What kind of attitude should I have? What mentality should I adopt? Am I ready for them? I really don't know. I hope I can take campers instead. I don't mind taking primary schools or even normal technical classes. If I can choose now, I rather take students instead of recruits.

Anyway, for those camp instructors who is reading this, I hope you will not be offended. Time is really different. You all behave like you are the king of the world. Can't you all care more about your campers? Is scolding the best way? Are you so experienced that you choose to ignore what the more senior instructor's advice? We are in this line for the passion of doing camps and the interest of the camper. Please care more for them and put in more effort and time for them. You can spend time with instructors after the camp, so please don't use work time to socialize with other instructors.

Anyway, I and just hoping that this coming batch of recruit will come and go fast so I can carry on with what I really like to do. Back to being a camp instructor and do what I want everyday. Being in camp and taking campers. It is so nice to be back seeing your old campers remember you and even your name. It is just so heartwarming. I don't know if this batch of instructor can do it.

I hope that someone can really make me feel better. I am really very emo now. I don't know what to do. I lost all forms of motivation. Where is my so call friends? Where are the people I had fun with in the past? Why is it that nobody is asking me out nowadays? So many why. What is the reason? I am lost without words. Please let me just fade away without a trace....

happy...

2009-03-28T15:11:00.003+08:00

I went for another camp last week. It was the best so far for all the camps I have been to. I have never enjoyed myself like this for a very long time already. It was simply fantastic and good.

Nope it is not the school if you are thinking. The school does not make a very big different. The instructors do. Not this batch of instructors I am talking about. I am sorry to say this. Not trying to be lao jiao or what but the new instructors cannot compare to our abilities. Old friends were there. Like Jiemin, Baoyun, Charles, Alfred, Joel and Jeremy. It was really a fun time when all of us get together. All the old batch of instructors.

We had a lot of fun together. Talking beside the campfire pit, joking with each other, slacking in the learning room and eating inside as well, sitting on the tall hosereel at the boy's hut area and even to drive out for supper. Catching up on the old things and to know about the new. Even to plan for the future things that is going to happen.

I simply love the feeling of old friends being together. Especially when it is those who can really bond well together type of friends. Then we even plan to go for xiao long bao after the camp on friday. It was a really nice time.

It is always nice to eat with instructors. We never behave ourselves. In a good way I mean. We don't restrict ourselves when we are outside and we really have a lot of fun together. We don't need to wear expensive shirt or act high class. We are just who we are and we enjoy doing it.

Really had a lot of fun. When can we do it again? Maybe on the 10 when Charles book out and see his botak head.

ALL THE BEST TO YOUR COMPETITIONS, BRANDON!!!

dinner @ highlanders

2009-03-22T11:32:00.002+08:00

desire...

2009-03-07T18:47:00.001+08:00

I WANT TO DO CAMPS!!!!

I WANT TO BE IN JBAC!!!!

I WANT TO HAVE CAMPERS!!!!!!

I WANT TO BE INSTRUCTOR AGAIN!!!!

worse weekend...

2009-03-01T15:59:00.002+08:00

This weekend I went to a camp that is an eye opener. I have never been to such a camp before. It is totally unlike any other camps and no one single camp can beat the record of this. This is a first in the history of Camp High Achievers.

What word can I use to describe this camp? Chaos? Terrible? Fu**ed up? Well maybe all of this words put together. I have never seen such a camp before. The teachers can't control the kids, the instructors can't manage the kids and nobody can do any thing at all. It is because the teachers of the school spoiled the students.

They are a batch of secondary 3 students who is being spoiled by the school. The teachers dare not do anything to them and treats them like friends. Then end up being pushed around by them. Out of the original 200 over who is suppose to come, only about 100 over who came. They are so bad that even I want to give up.

I was doing rafting for them. As a rafting instructor, I feel that time passes too slowly. I had to tie up the raft for them if not they will not get it done up. They are just hopeless. I even had to get them to lock up the gate to the sea because I scare they will just go down. I never had to worry about that gate before. This is the first time I never tried to know any one from the camp.

Anyway, my first batch of recruits are passing out soon. It is such a relieve. I wanted a break and go back to doing camps. I had enough of army for now. I just want to be a camp instructor.

Just out of curiousity. Who are you who is reading this blog? Or is there even any one who will read? Please at least tag to let me know who is reading my blog entries.

March...

2009-02-21T20:53:00.003+08:00

Checked my mail. This coming month there are a lot of camps. Days for camps are so packed. It just makes me feel so much warmth. Reminiscing the good old days where I can do camps day after day, week after weeks.

I just love the environment and being able to do things I like. Kayaking, High elements, doing challenges, trekking, teaching and even playing around with campers and instructors. You can say that I am stupid or boring because I choose to be in such a place where there is no technology or whatsoever. People don't like camps and being in the nature. But I like doing it a lot. It just seems so natural and homely.

I will be going for many of the camps in March. I might be even doing some of it. I really hope I can do camps like the last time again. Words along can't express how much I yearn to be in that place doing that same stuff again. Army is just too boring. Maybe is because of the place I am in. I just can't get too close to my recruits because we need to create that discipline level which we must enforce. If we get too close, the recruits will not have the respect.

For those reading this, I seriously hope you will join my passion in being a camp instructor. Instructor for life. To teach people and to guild them. Also to make friends with more people.

Time...

2009-01-31T11:55:00.002+08:00

Can we really manage time?

We like to tell ourselves that we can manage our own time, but can we really do it? Is we the master or the slave of time itself? Who has the ultimate control over who? Can we really grasp the essence of time?

Time is something that is always not on our side. It passes so fast that we never had a chance to fully make use of it and to treasure it. The beauty of time is something that we will not be able to learn before it happens. There is alot of meaning for time if you search under a good dictionary. It tells us that no one can understand what time really is and no one understands it.

As mere mortal, we try our best to plan according to timing but never to understand the other aspect of time itself that we miss out. We always create buffer time for us to use before commencing on the next activity. But we never realise that all these buffer time added up can be use for another meaningful activity as well. There is only 24 hours a day according to layman understanding. Nothing more, nothing less. This means that we have limited resources but we have unlimited use for it. What we can do is to prioritise the important things first and forgo the others if we do not have the time. But we still can use put in buffer time, waiting time and what-not timing inside. So if we can plan better, why can't we do everything?

What I am trying to say is that we often waste time on things we planned for. Minimizing on the other uses of the limited time a day we have. For example, we train badminton for 3 hours a day and 3 times a week. But we put the rest of the time to waste. Why can't we use our lunch break or some empty slot in-between lessons for some simple training? Like wrist or footdrills which can take very little time. We rather let the time go to waste and daze around.

Time passes real fast and it is never on our side. With a blink of an eye, everything will be gone. Be it good or bad, everything will be history. Friends who are reading this, if you are going through good times or even bad times, make sure you treasure this experience. Once it is over, it will never happen again. You will not be able to relieve this particular moment of your live again.

There is only one 16th birthday in your life. One time you first went to your secondary school. Once that you have your first love and even your first crush. Treasure and savior every moments of your life and never let any second go to waste. Do what you want and do bold. You never know if you have the chance to do it again.

about me...

2009-01-25T21:09:00.003+08:00

Nothing much to post, so i decided to write something about myself. Sort of a self introduction to everyone. It can also serve as a reminder to who I really am. Amidst everything that has happened, I can still tell myself who I am and to remind myself not to deviate from it.

I am a Christian and I am proud to announce it. I am not like those Christian who tag themselves as Christians but their actions tells otherwise. I don't really drink, don't smoke, don't gamble, don't club or whatsoever. I tried not to scold vulgarities but it is really difficult. Why? Because I am in army. It is like the best way to get things done. To use the F word and all the other powerful vulgarities. But trust me, I am trying to cut down on it.

I don't have a girlfriend. Why? I still want to enjoy and play. I don't like to be tied down and stick to one. But I am waiting for her. The girl who is in my heart. Studies come first for her. Really hope that we can be together once her exam is over. Hope the waiting will not go to waste and will be worth it. It is the start of something new.

For my friends, I really value friendship alot. To me, friendship is something that cannot be toyed around with. I will do anything for my friends and everything will be worth it. If I make a promise to a friend, I will surely keep to it. Some people say it will be very fortunate to be my friend, but I feel that it is the way it should be. I differentiate friendship according to how it should be. Friends, good friends, best friends, brothers and acquaintance.

Outdoor is the best place for me. I really enjoy being outdoors. Doing things outdoor. Activities like camping, kayaking, rock climbing, trekking and even campfire. It will never be bored once you are out in the nature. Even better when you have everything you need with you. Best if your friends are there to enjoy it with you. What pissed me off is that people out in the nature complain about it. They are just too pampered and can't survive on their own.

Another favorite for me is to eat. I can spend hundreds on eating as long as I can enjoy it. It does not really matter if the food is really great. But it must not be too bad. It takes a good friend to eat with you that makes the food you eat to taste nice. It does not mean expensive food are always good. Sometimes a simple dish like carrot cake from a neighbourhood hawker centre taste just as good as a plate of steak from a high class restaurant. I don't mind treating my friends to a good meal if I have the money

I love to teach people as well. I am a badminton coach and a camp instructor. Now I am also a commander in Tekong to teach recruits as well. It is nice to teach recruits and even students. Once they get into the same frequency as you, that is where the fun really comes in. I have a lot to share with my trainee especially in terms of camping. To share with them friendships, bonding and a adventurous spirit. To teach them on what is right and what is wrong. I can also learn alot from teaching others as well. To make myself a better man.

This is roughly who I am. It is not exactly complete but I guess this will do for now. For those who just read this post and don't really know me, feel free to make friends with me. I don't mind having more friends.

whassup....

2009-01-25T11:51:00.003+08:00

What have I been doing? Well, last 2 weeks was fieldcamp. So, I was in camp all the way. For another 2 weeks. I hate confinement. It is really boring and nothing to do at all. But this is not the end. For this batch, there are more burnt weekends.

My carabiners is all spoilt. Now I am only left with a few. I don't know why I really love carabiners alot. They look nice and is very useful and handy. You can use them for any purpose. As a hanger, to hook things on, to look nice and even to lock things temporarily. Maybe is also because I love adventurous stuff so it links well together.

Yesterday went out with Brandon boy. Went to watch a movie which was really bad. I guess it was really the kind of show that kids will like but not adults. Inkheart was really bad. We were wearing the same color cloths again. I was wearing this milky white t-shirt while he was wearing a white Billabong t-shirt as well. After that, we went down to town to jalan. Actually was really walking aimlessly.

Since I didn't get to buy a present for Brandon boy during his birthday, so I make it up to him today. Actually wanted to get him one Crumpler bag since he love it, but he say he just got a new bag so we didn't buy it. Then went to see some shoes. Even went to limited edt shop to look. In the end bought this shoe at Paragon. The design was plain but since he like it, well it will be ok I guess. Hope it will be a good present for you Brandon boy. It is worth every penny for a good friend who is true.

Its Chinese New Year already. Today it is the eve, so reunion dinner tonight. I don't really like this kind of events. Always so many coordination and travel here and there. I don't really like socializing. It is just not me. But well, I have to do it or my parents will kill me.

One last thing to note. For those who think as a camp instructor I have a lot of campers as friends. I tell you the truth. No. Even for girls from tertiary institute that we fancy, we are not allowed to exchange contacts or whatsoever. We can be close and all in camp but after that, we don't mix. I don't add them in msn or what. Not even to accept their phone numbers. Only once in a while I accept them in my friendster.

Reason? They will forget me after the camp is over or maybe after a few months. So, no point adding them in my msn or friendster or contact list to waste the space. Whats more, I did so many camps and if I need to add them, how many friends do I have?

camp again...

2009-01-10T10:05:00.003+08:00

This week's highlight, camp with Boon Lay Secondary. The same school I did last year. I put in alot of effort and tried to have the best camp I can and the best camp I can give.

I actually want to do this school despite having the chance to do others. There is no instructor that I know and all of the other instructors are new. Another shocking thing is I choose to take a normal technical class. It is the most difficult class to handle. I am being too ambitious I guess. I love campers from Boon Lay Secondary. I hope I can have more time with them.

The camp is in JBAC. My home away from home. This time I put myself to the biggest challenge. Since I am the only one there that did the most camp, automatically I am put in charge of everything. Meal, orderly, song session and everything else for that matter. I was even questioned and confronted by the camp commandant of their school. The song session was mine all the way. But I think I did not fail to do anything I set out to do.

The only thing I regret was not to have enough time with my own group. To mix well with them and to make friends with them. I guess this is the only regret I have for this camp and the biggest regret I have. The campfire was quite a success even though it wasn't up to the mark of a successful CHA campfire. I really wanted to make friends with the campers and know each others better. Well, better camps will come.

For all the campers I have that is or might be reading this, if you want me to appear in your school camp again, tag me. But make sure it is my company that is running the camp. I will make it to some of the fun schools this year. I love what I am doing and I will do more of it.

One last thing, all the best in your trial for national team and youth team Brandon boy. Wushu is your thing, make it shine.

my new shoe...

2009-01-02T19:10:00.003+08:00

New year...

2009-01-01T20:01:00.003+08:00

Guess how I spend the New year. This year I can go out with Luke and spend the last day of 2008 and first day of 2009 together like the last 2 years. Sounds gay but not really. Nevermind.

Anyway, I spend my New year doing my Company Orderly Sergent(COS) duty. I was in the office watching the countdown party. It was the eve of a holiday so there was no one in the island except those on duty. So I don't need to perform any duty. Just stay at the office to answer calls and to attend staff parade. I am alone in the company without anyone. So what I did was to sleep, eat and watch TV.

It was a sad year end. Duty on the eve of Christmas and New year. Plus event on the 2nd and 3rd of January. I am really missing being on main land. I rather be more taxing and more xiong in Guards than to have no freedom on the island itself. Now I understand why everyone want to leave the island once they have the chance to do it.

I am now trying to take leave. Mainly to rest and relax myself. Haven got the chance to really rest well. Another reason is to go and do camps. I really miss doing camps and the life of freedom. To be the boss of myself and not having anyone to breath down my neck. I can really talk with the kids and mix with them. Most importantly to share my stories which they are interested in.

How I wish I can be a full time camp instructor. To be free and really do the things I want without any constrain. To really be myself and be free to do anything. The joy of teaching people and to bond with them. End of the day when they say they miss you, it is what makes me most satisfying.

mood swing...

2008-12-25T21:27:00.003+08:00

This is a stupid Christmas for me. Nothing much going on and no celebrations at all. I don't know what is happening but it seems a little screwed up. I really need a break off everything. I don't know what is going on. I just need to be with someone whom I am missing very much now. But don't ask me who, I also have no answer.

I went out today with yong jie to Jurong point and we had fish and co. After that we went for a movie. We had nothing in mind so we watched Yes man. It was no a bad movie. There is some meaningful things in the movie which I find is very logical. I want to download the movie and get the exact verse from the movie itself. That is the only thing I did for this Christmas. Most probably the only thing that is going on.

Tomorrow I am going to Bedok reservoir for some live run thing by the army. I am chosen to go for the dragon boat event. Not that I don't like, but it is the fact that I have no idea how to do it. Some more it is at the early morning at a far away place.After that, I am booking in to tekong with my recruits to survive another week.

Everything has been quite screwed up recently. I don't know what is going on but everything seems to be quite messed up. I am on COS duty on the last day of the year. Plus I have hand grenade throw on the third day of Chinese new year where I am the DS. It is also difficult for me to take leave on the few days that I want. But I will really fight for it.

I think I really need to MIA for a while so that I can sort out everything and make every thing right. I think it is high time I do something to change things. I am not going to just sit there and wait for things to happen. So people my age already have a stable career and some already talking about marriage. I think I am a little random now but hack. Who cares anyway.

screw up plans...

2008-12-17T22:05:00.002+08:00

Why am I here? Basically I took a 1.5 days leave yesterday. I took it just to clear my leave. Actually I wanted to take till Friday then I can go for 1 camp. But too bad Friday morning there is something on.

Actually we can't take leave. Reason? The recruits are having their weapon presentation. Their first time holding a rifle and maybe even seeing one. I regret taking the leave but since I already applied for it, no choice I guess. This maybe the last time I take any leave for this year. There are too many events planned out and we can't take any leave. Meaning I will have very little time outside.

This time round the programme is screwed up. Most of the weekends are training dates. Even on Christmas eve and the day after Christmas. I am even planning to stay in-camp and not take any leave or off for this 3 months. Every other day there is a key event going on. Plus their fieldcamp is coming up real soon and there is not much time for any other things. So everyone out there, I will MIA for quite some time.

For those who miss me or if there is any, feel free to sms me. If you wish to help me in anyway, sent me some movie that is in ISO format. So I can put in my psp to watch in tekong. Also make sure it is small so I can put a few more inside.

I really wish I can be out there doing all the fun things and relaxing myself during this festive season. I guess this will be the most unhappy Christmas and New year for me.

plans...

2008-12-10T12:01:00.002+08:00

This Christmas my plan is... no plan.

Well, before Christmas I will be stuck in Tekong. If you count 3 weeks from now which will be the confinement week, that is when Christmas will come. Meaning? No presents, no gifts and maybe no me. I don't know if I will even be free that Christmas. Why? The next day will be change of command(COC). BMTC school 1 will change its CO, so there will be a parade and when there is parade, there is rehearsals.

New year, I don't even know will I be out. So I guess I won't have any plans too. COC is on 30 December. So I have no idea at all. It is really one busy month where I have no idea what is going on. Brandon my friend, if can i will try to make time for your birthday. By the way, it is on 30 December also right?

It is going to be a sad month. With the little time I have, I don't even know when I will be free and what I can do. What I have planned for is to spend my leave doing camps. If not, I don't know where else I can use my leave.

Friends, where are you when I need you??

tekong madness...

2008-12-08T15:18:00.004+08:00

Before I start, I want to say Tekong is not as fun as everyone thinks. Being a 3 strip there is not as relax as everyone thinks. It is a lot of boring work plus stay in. Who in the right mind would want to be there so much?

Next week a new group of recruits is going to come in. For me, I will be staying in with them. Boring? Definitely. How I wish there could be a change, that I am in other units like Guards. I think the next time I come out is around Christmas. No time to shop for gifts and no time for outing with friends. I also have no time to go for camps even though I really want to go for them. To be around campfire or even in the kayak playing.

Brandon is going overseas again. How I wish I can go overseas also. Time to play for my 4.5 days leave which I don't know when I can start using. Enjoy your trip there my friend. It is really cool to be able to go overseas in such short frequency.

Also, happy birthday to Yisin in advance. 16 December is your birthday but I am not sure if I will be able to come out. So an early wishing for you. Hope you enjoy yourself too.

School is starting again soon and I really want to go for a camp. Really hope I can go for one. I miss doing camp and veing in camp.

tekong for good...

2008-11-28T22:17:00.002+08:00

For those who don't know, I am posted back to t]Tekong as instructor. I love being instructor and I really want to do it for life. But to be one at an island far away, that is not the plan I have in mind.

The first week was full of lectures and speech. It is not bad, but it is not what I wanted. Leadership talk and all those things about teaching. Well, not to be cocky, but all these I already know. I was hoping for something really different and really help me in my vocation as a BMT instructor. Hope that next week's lesson will be more enriching and beneficial. At least to me. After doing so many leadership roles, I really need to learn something new so that I can improve myself. So far all that I have heard is all those I have already been taught.

I am posted to BMTC school 1. But which company? I also have no idea. But it surely won't be Falcon, Kestrel and Jaguar. This hot favour has already been taken long ago. For your information, we are going to do something really different. For those who have been through BMT, it is unlike what you have imagine. The new recruits will be shooting GPMG,SAW and be shot by paintballs. 24km march is also a thing of the past. Ever marched into your graduation parade?

Responsibility has never been so great before. It is really different for what I imagine and what it used to be. Nonetheless, it will be a totally new challenge.

Instructor for life....

Where I belong...

2008-11-22T11:07:00.002+08:00

I received my posting yesterday. I was prepared to go Guards. I want to do the heliborne and watermanship which I feel is totally fun and cool. Whats more, the Guards tab that we will get after we complete our conversion course. It is absolutely cool and full of pride.

But to my amaze, I am posted to HQBMTC. Most likely to e a BMTC instructor. I used to want to be there but now I don't really. There is nothing much to do there and it is a very boring place to e in. Nothing exciting and never a chance to go overseas. Day in day out doing the basics, not being able to do fun things and get good badges. Boring life.

Instructor is like the best thing for me. My job camp instructor, badminton instructor and now BMTC instructor. I am the best mascot to be when it comes to instructorship. I hope I will be able to teach well and make a good impact to others. Next goal, best trainer.

Friends, you are going to miss more of me. I will be station at a far away island with little time back in Singapore.

Today...

2008-11-16T23:13:00.002+08:00

Well, I spend time readjusting myself today. I feel so lost and out of place when I returned to Singapore. So I did a lot of revising work today. Read a few blogs and talk to a few people. But I am still lost.

I need to get back to reality. I need to know what is going on. I need answers and I need them now. I need to do more catching up and to keep up with what is going on now. I am too lost to know where to start from. I need help, I need assistance and I need them now. Who can fill me in on what is happening?

Worse of all, I miss my birthday this year. I miss the celebrations. I miss the gifts and presents. I did not celebrate my birthday this year because I was training overseas. How sad can I be? It is over and it is not coming back. How fast time flies.

Brandon my young friend is flying off for some training tomorrow. Though of asking him out but I guess I need to wait again. Time really waits for no man...

Current mood: Emo
Verse of the day: When the cold and winter comes to hell, only the strongest can resist the bell

ROC...

2008-11-16T11:51:00.002+08:00

I am back from 3 weeks of training in Republic of china(ROC) or more commonly called Taiwan. Not for tour or what, but for training. Army training to be exact. It is something I never wanted to do. But going overseas is a good experience to have. Although it is so much more torturous.

When we first reach there, we we stunned. No because of what we see there but is the temperature. Somehow we were convinced that we will train in a cooling environment back in Singapore. But when we walked out of the gate, we found ourselves in a temperature similar to Singapore if not hotter.

We walked through the hilly terrains of the central region of Taiwan. Climbed the famous 404 mountain and walked more than we can calculate. We went through navigation exercise from the south to the north of Taiwan. Sounds crazy? It really is. We have to carry a heavy load on us and walked through the journey. Not to mention climb mountains and cross rivers. We have a timing to keep and checkpoints to find. Not to mention when we get lost in the mountains. The extra miles that we have to walk. The temperature is also not helping us in anything.

After the navigation, we went for exercise warrior. We were really like warriors. Casting the long walk we have aside. We got lost many times during our march to our location. We climbed countless mountains and many difficult terrains. We harbour on slopes and sleep on them and wake up to fight our objectives. We even sleep in orange plantations and pomelo plantations. The worse part is that we stay on the tallest hill for 4 days compared to the rest who stayed on hills half as tall as ours. Which means we have to climb up and down whenever we go out for missions. It is really a killer for all of us. The hottest weather we encountered was WGBT 22.7. Another 0.3 and we have to cancel the training. That is how hot the weather is.

On our last night on the hill, we encountered a cold front. The temperature went down to about 12 degree Celsius. We were shivering and feeling very cold. What makes things worse was a big rain before that which made us all wet. We nearly went into hypothermia. It is sold cold that we were forced to shift harbour to the foot of the mountain where the weather is not as cold. But it is still the same because we were all wet. We had to walk don't know how long to fight our final objective which tested all our endurance.

The last few days of our training and in camp, the weather went down to 10 degrees. It was another shock to us all. We will never get to experience all these when we were in Singapore or even in tekong. So in general, it is all a bitter sweet memory which we will never forget and will pass down the memories to others.

The last 3 days 2 nights was our tour of Taiwan. It was short and we really miss it very much. We went to 2 theme parks and some historical places. But what is best is the free and easy after dinner which we were looking forward to. I eat many nice food and went to places I wanted to go. I also bought a few gifts for my friends. Too bad I don't have much money with me, or I will buy more. I am now broke and need to wait for my next pay to have some money to use. Sad.

Next up, my 3sg journey. It will begin in 1 weeks time.

After all these unforgetab

secondhand serenade... fall for you...

2008-10-20T18:05:00.001+08:00

A special song for that special you...

weekend fun...

2008-10-19T09:43:00.006+08:00

Lets start with last weekend. What did I do? I went out with a little friend of mine. We went to eat Pariss at marina square. Guess what happened when we saw each other. We were wearing the same color shirt.

He is like a little brother of mine. Always have a lot of fun playing around with him. It somehow helps me to relax after a week of army life which is totally tiring. We went to eat, then went around to window shop. After a while, pooled at paradiz centre. After pool, we went to shop again. Basically is just a lot of walking around. Went to get a lot of chocolates also. I always enjoy a good piece of chocolate amidst a week of tiredness.

This week has been a wonderful week. Even better than the last. Yesterday went to eat carnivour with my old friends. Then walked around vivocity and played in toysarus. We played for more than an hour plus. Then we went over to great world to eat tcc. It was nice to just sit down and chill. After that, we went around searching for a place to charge our handphone because all our handphone nearly black out before us.

Went over to cineleisure and I thought was really to relax and wait for people to come. But to my surprise, a cake popped out. My friends actually helped me to celebrate my birthday beforehand. I was really shocked and happy.

Grandslam 2...

2008-10-11T13:20:00.002+08:00

Grandslam 2 finally over! 1 whole week of torture and suffering. Route march, river crossing, heliborne, urban operations and even digging. All the physically demanding and mentally demanding work finally over.

A near confinement when we, the rope section make mistake in doing the ropes for river crossing. But you can't really blame us. We have walked through the whole night for about 4 hours before we reach our river crossing side. With a field pack of about 30kg, whatever energy we have has already depleted. I have to carry 3 over the river because of someone's carelessness who have forgotten to take 1 of it. After crossing, I am so tired that I can't even stand properly. But We still have to carry on walking.

When we reach our second site, after a helicopter ride and a river crossing, I am totally gone. But it doesn't stop there. We have to attack up a hill which took the remaining energy out of me. Smoke evaporates from my body when we took a break after the attack and prepare to start digging. Basically, we have to dig a shellscrap and a fire trench. In simple, imagine yourself digging a hole long enough to cover you height, width, and deep enough to cover you when you lie down flat on the group. Next is a fire trench which is a hole deep enough to cover till your chest level when you stand and long enough to fit 2 person . It is about 4 riffle by 1 riffle size. It is just like digging a grave for yourself.

Then it was urban operations which involve patrol and search party. We start off with an attach on a buildup area, which in simple, an estate. I was the enemy for that operation so I had to set up all the cornwire the night before and plant myself in one of the rooms and prepare to snipe whoever comes my way. It was fun and exciting. For that moment I forget about my own tiredness. For the whole of the last day I was the enemy. It was the most relaxing job ever throughout the 4 days of torture.

Anyway, it has all ended. Enough of all the shit. Next up, urban operation fieldcamp on monday and tuesday. After which, it will be ROC for me...

Camp high achievers...

2008-09-28T17:28:00.002+08:00

This weekend I just went into jbac. The experience was fabulous. I can't describe how much I miss the place and doing camp as a instructor. I didn't know I was that attached to this job or should I say this lifestyle.

I am a camp instructor for camp high achievers and I am loving it! I love being in camp doing the various activities and being with the campers. Ever 3 day is a new experience and new happening. It is never a chance to get bored about it. Other instructors in the camp complete this wonderful experience. Going through thick and thin together with them and created a good bond with everyone.

I miss campfire and playing around with each other. what we call ra-ra session and lingos unique to our job. No one else understand what we say except one of our own. It is fun to be in a group where we do and live like a family.

I am a instructor!! I miss camp!! I miss campers!!! I miss the life!!! When can I be back there again???

things to learn...

2008-09-21T16:33:00.002+08:00

Things to learn:
1) guitar
2) driving
3) archery
4) shooting
5) kayaking
6) speedboat
7) prgramming

So many things to learn, So little time....

2008-09-21T13:57:00.003+08:00

Went for Kenneth's birthday yesterday. Although it was short, it was quite fun. So long never see some of the friends there. Waiting to receive the other photos from the rest of the camera present on the day.

Life is getting more boring. Without camps and campers in my life, everything else seem so monotonous. I will give up anything for another opportunity to do camp again. Soon I will be going over to ROC for training. I want to enjoy before that and have more opportunity to go out with my friends and do some fun stuff together. I will be gone for 3 weeks and after that, my future will be a mystery again.

Decision...

2008-09-14T15:13:00.003+08:00

I think it is about time I find myself a girlfriend and stop playing so much....

Time to plan for the future.....

this 2 weeks...

2008-08-30T08:55:00.002+08:00

Last Monday was the start of ASLC. It is definitely not the place I want to be but I don't have a choice. The first 2 days was compacted with a lot of stuff which I have forgotten. But one thing for sure, we go through GPMG lesson. We did our practical and theory test for that big and clumsy weapon.

After that, we went through demolition lesson. Explosive, detonator and all the big explosive like claymore and even bangaloor torpedo. To me, all this is very boring. Spend the whole day learning and settle up but within 17 second or so, the whole circuit will blow up and smashed to pieces. The same thing like GPMG, we have to go through practical and theory test and pass it so that we are qualified to do the real thing.

Last Friday, we walked all the way to the place where we shoot our GPMG. It is on top of a very steep hill. Those that have been there would have heard about this "E-shaped noir". In the day, it was so hot and we have to sit out in the open and wait for our shoot. When we reached there, we got to fire only 100 live rounds. The only thing that made it all worth while was that my team shot down 1 target 500m away. We are the only group that did it. The night shoot was even better. It is just like starwars with our luminous rounds flying around.

We walked back after that around 1 plus in the morning. We slept about 3 hours and had to wake up to prepare for our demolition live range on the next day. Which is last Saturday. It rained the whole day but we still have to go through with the explosive. So most of the time we were sleeping in the shed waiting for the rain to stop. Therefore, the whole thing drag until very late. We went home 7 plus 8. The next day we had to book in early because we have another shoot on Monday.

Monday did section quick attack. Which involve running and a lot of shooting. Live rounds was in play so it became more complicated, technical and even dangerous. It was fun, dirty, dangerous, thrilling and also tiring. Our playground was a steep slope again. So climbing up and down was super tiring. It lasted 3/4 of the day because we did not do the night shoot. So we walked back again to end the day.

The next 2 days we were preparing for watermanship. In simple, river crossing. We have to send people to swim over to another side of the river and tie a rope for the rest to cross. I was part of the rope team and it was really tiring. We make sure our things doesn't get wet by putting them in zip lock bags and waterproof them. It was a troublesome process. Everything got wet when we enter into the water. Our platoon did it 1 time more than others because we were too fast and had to wait for night fall for a better experience. Sun tanning everything the next day was a tirning process.

This is about it for the past 2 weeks. So many things to do and so little time to rest. I really hope I got more time on hand with rest and even my friends. It has been very long since I hang out with my friends and relaxing myself. Hope I have a chance this weekend. After this is a whole lot of activities lined up again.

a quick entry...

2008-08-24T18:37:00.002+08:00

No time to blog this week. I just wanna blog just to let you all know that I am still alive. Too many things happening this week.

I shall blog again next week when I have more time. I think.

Just to recall briefly what happen this week. General purpose machine gun(GPMG) firing. Explosive live firing. Watermanship. Don't know what else. I forget already.

I strongly urge you people who know me to message me to chat to keep me company. I am too stress and tired from army already. So many things going on for that 3 line. For those who don't have my number, it is easy to find. 94309881. Tell me who you are and where you are from. I will reply immediately. But if you know I won't know you, please don't try to message. Campers are welcome as well.

graduation...

2008-08-15T18:51:00.002+08:00

Today marks the day of the end of my BSLC, also known as basic section leader course. It is suppose to be a prestigious place where not many people get to go there. They also call the place command school where they train leaders.

Yesterday night, we prepared for the graduation by doing a 28km route march. I didn't know what to expect or what to bring. Everything was like so random where we can do whatever we want. I wanted to bring isotonic drinks but I rather not make my packs heavier. So I choose plain water instead. We took a bus to kranji memorial and started our march there.

As expected, the march started off faster than we expected. It was somewhat a fast march. The initial part was tough as we are not physically conditioned. Also, the Z-monster is attacking us. I nearly fall asleep a few times along the march. Upon reaching the 12km rest point, my whole body was like gone. I can't even feel my legs. It was so painful that I just sit down and do nothing during all the check points. Our speed was so fast that we caught up with the first wave which started like half an hour before us. The entire journey was full of up-slopes and uneven terrains. At that moment, I would do anything just to finish the march. The thought of falling out is just so tempting. I am sure we walked more than the meer 28km that was stated. Or that we were suppose to walk.

At the end of the march, a sign of relieve just fills my mind. The thought of being able to sit down and sleep makes me so happy. But it did not go as I wished. Not long after I closed my eyes, our Company Sergent Major(CSM) want us to polish our dirt-filled boots and get ready for the parade. Reluctantly, I took out my kiwi and start polishing my boots. After that we got in line to get ready for the parade. We had to carry our field packs with us which I don't understand why. The load on me weighs about 20kg. What's more, a tired and worn out body who needs to stand still for about an hour and not moving. I can feel my knees giving way.

What shocked me most was my posting. I was posted to Advance Section Leader Course(ASLC). The more advance wing for commanders and a even more prestigious place to be in. But I don't agree so. The course is more tougher than any others and we have to go over to the Republic of China or popularly known as taipei for a 3 week field exercise. I don't know if I am ready for it. Right now, I just feel like signing on and get the 1 time bonus. Which is a lot of money.

On my way to get my 3 strips...13 weeks of torture....

Everlasting???

2008-08-09T08:30:00.002+08:00

Is there such a thing as everlasting? Will there be eternity in life? If there is ever such a thing as forever, then there won't be such a word call expiry. Ever thing and ever course has it end point. There is always a period when it is durable, after which it will become obsolete.

Have you ever tried eating expired food? It taste horrible and sometimes it gives you a stomachache. It can also appear disgusting and displeasing in sight. Have you seen worms growing in your fruits? Or mold growing out of your bread? What is your first reaction? To keep it and hope that it will return to its original state? Or do you throw it away immediately? Logic tell us that we can't eat the food anymore and it should be discarded.

Do you think friendship can last? I really don't know. How many of your primary school friends is currently still your best friend? Or even to have contact with. For me, I still have contact with my primary school friends and they are still my good friends even until today. But wherever we go, we will meet new friends. Whatever we do, our emotions will bound to react in a certain way. So it is relatively impossible to ask human not to feel. In physics, we learn that there is always a counter force in relation to a force. In life it is the same. When there is forging, there will be breaking. When a friendship is forge, there is a point in time where it will break. "Nothing is forever, neither friends nor foes". This is one of my favourite verse from the movie <15>.

In relationships, it is the same. It is never easy to have a smooth sailing relationship. How many breakups do we encounter before we can find someone that is truly the Mr or Mrs right? We do feel pain, dishearten or even disappointed. But it is only part of the process of life. Even when two person get married, there is also conflicts and divorce. Researchers also found out that divorce rates are on the rise year after year. It is not easy to conclude in relations being forever and everlasting.

I really don't know whether everlasting is a myth or it is actually possible to happen. To those reading this post, please share your opinion with me.

Its all over...

2008-08-02T21:01:00.002+08:00

Grandslam is over!!!!

4 days of torture is over! On Monday, we headed over to Tekong. Yes, our army birth place. The first day was exercise Wanderer. We have to navigate ourselves to the different checkpoints in Tekong. We were really wondering in the jungles of the remote island. During the day, we never met any other teams along the way other than the first part of the day when we started off the exercise. We walked so much until I lost track of how much I walked. All I can remember is recording a lot of 1km.

End of the day, a tired and worn out me still have to do a lot of admin work. That was not the end of the whole exercise, but the starting. The next day, we had to carry our field pack which i think was about 15kg with all the unnecessary things that we have to bring which I still don't know why. We had to walk about a few km to our harbouring area, which means our home for the next 3 days. It was super tiring.

We have to go out for mission and act as if it was real and we are really in a war situation. We are not even giving water resupply when we walk pass checkpoints. It was really tiring and tormenting. The good thing is we get to have a lot of sleep. But the bad thing is all the rest we have is being disturbed. All the stand-to and alert. With our army focused conducting officer, it is the worse field camp ever.

End of it, on Thursday, when we thought everything is over. We had to march all the way to the ferry terminal. Which was like 16km or more from our location. What makes things worse is that we had to carry a stretcher with a fake injured person. About 12 of us took turn carrying it and walking at a very fast speed. Every time 6 man had to carry it. It was about 20kg or more on our shoulder over the whole walk. It was really tiring when we ended the march. I can hardly stand straight or move my upper body after it. Until now, my shoulder is still aching.

Now, it is all over. I get to enjoy the short break. Then when Monday comes, I will have to go for urban operations. Another field camp. I really feel like having a good break. I haven gone out with my friends for a long time. Especially Meng hui and Luke.

declaration...

2008-07-27T18:57:00.002+08:00

I really want to tell my friends I really miss you all....

You all are really important to me...

I love my friends especially my brother...

Especially meng hui and luke, my best friends in life...

Not even to forget my brother jiahao...

weak...

2008-07-20T15:18:00.002+08:00

This week just ended fieldcamp. Came back home on Saturday morning. All I can say about fieldcamp is that it is tiring, physically demanding and a whole lot of crap. What makes it worse is that my second fieldcamp is coming right up. The week after I will be at tekong having my finale.

The whole week I am feeling moody. The temperature was hot and it is killing me. Things that we have to do and remember and a whole lot of running around in the forest. I keep on asking myself why am I here. Why do I have to go through all this. Constantly, we must remind ourselves not to make any mistakes and must do everything fast despite our fatigue. What makes things worse is my little brother who is constantly giving my attitude and being stubborn.

At the end of the week, I just feel so relieve. No more fieldcamp for now and I can relax and enjoy the slow pace of civilization. But what I really want is to find a relaxing cafe and just sit down and have a nice cup of drink and some simple snacks and spend a quiet afternoon with friends. But I am too lazy to call up anyone. So I didn't really do anything much.

My Saturday was spend with Noel. I get to know him in Church and he is quite interesting. We had a simple lunch at yishun. At a cafe in the community centre at Kahtib there. The food was not too bad but the price is a big steep. After that, I went for outreach at Kahtib area. In the evening went over to queensways with Noel as he wanted to get a Badminton racquet.

Hope to have a better weekend next week. After that, another tiring week.

jam packed week...

2008-07-13T13:42:00.002+08:00

This week is really full of activities. It was the most tiring week ever in my life. I get to sleep about 4 hours maximum everyday since Tuesday. Plus I have a lot of mental work as well.

Weapon handling test plus live range on 2 days. Fired SAR21 and Section Automatic Weapon in the day and night. Saturday went to fire metador and M203. On top of that, I had to go through all the stripping and assembling of all the 4 weapon. There is a timing to each of them and it is even lesser that M16, which is less than 1 minute. I also did the test for the weapons on immediate action. Which means when problem arises when firing, what should I do. All these is very taxing to the mind.

In the week, we also did 2 days of navigation, exercise gypsy. We went into the forest of mandai next to Island country club. It was tiring and tough. Imaging getting from 1 point to another in the forest where everything seems the same.Not even to mention at night where everything is dark and you can't really see what is infront of you. Taking up a load of about 4-5kg each plus a signal set was part of the deal. Rain, mud, torns whatever you can name it in a forest I have gone through it. It was a physical and mental torture as well.

Next week is another week of torture. Field camp is coming up this week. 4 days of torture yet again. I am expecting the worse. I should be able to break down when I get back. What is making things worse is my brother who is giving me so many problems.

How I wish for a good rest....

life...

2008-07-06T12:57:00.002+08:00

Have you ever hear people saying that life is short and it must be well spend? I totally agree with it. How long do we have on this earth? Or should I ask how long do we have to be able to enjoy the pleasures of this earth. It is true that at different stages of life we enjoy different things. You can't get a 80 years old man to play bungee jump nor can you get a 20 years old man to sit down by the beach and enjoy the splendor of this world.

Things only happen once. If you miss it, it will forever be gone. Like gaining trust. It won't be easy to retreat the trust of someone once it is lost. What we can do is to take everything that comes our way joyfully. I know it is not easy, but trust me, you will surely miss it once it is over. Friends are also the same. If you did not spend enough effort to treat them as your friend, they will be gone before you know it. Even if you want to mend this friendship, it wont be easy. The relation will not be the same again.

Amidst the hectic lifestyle of Singapore, have you took time off to relax and enjoy the scenery? Have you took time off to visit and try out many new things? I have the chance to mix with some teens and what I understand is that they spend their time in things which are secondary and they have missed out of the many joyful activities of today. Joyful time always pass by quickly. If we do not make good use of it, it will be wasted. Life is not just about the cyber world which youngster spend most of their time in. There are other things to do like going out to see the world and knowing what is happening around. Trying out new things and taking a new route. You never know if you will encounter something new and find something enriching.

If you never step out of your comfort zone, you will never gain any other things. If you stick with friends you don't like but because you want to be popular like them, you will never be more popular. You will never stand out. But when you take the first step and leave the group, you can find yourself with better friends and happier than before.

Life is not something we can easily fathom. We can only learn as we get on with life. But try not to let it go pass you before you learn. Try to learn as you go along with it.

stressed...

2008-07-05T22:03:00.002+08:00

My mood isn't very good this few days. I am trying very hard to curb my anger. I try not to burst it out in my bunk and infront of others. But sometimes it is just too difficult.

I really need a break off all these...

I need a friend to be there for me...

weekend...

2008-06-29T11:12:00.003+08:00

Weekend has never been so precious before. In sispec, the instructors always like to mention the word confinement and I think they are seriously going to do it to us. The training is also very hectic with hardly any rest.

During our bookout, it will be then that we get to rest and recuperate. So it is the day all of us will be eagerly waiting for. I really hope to be able to book out on Friday night, no matter how late it gets.

Made a new friend yesterday during my church's heart.sports which is a day of sports for our church's youth. I like to have young friends. One thing is that I can get younger hanging out with them and another is that I get to learn more things with them. I can learn their lingo and the new trend. Why do I want to know all this? I am a camp instructor and it will help me to communicate with my camper. Especially when the bulk of my campers are secondary students.

I really need to enjoy the precious weekends I have before I book in again.

my work....

2008-06-20T10:39:00.007+08:00

I think that many of you do not know my work. So, I am going to use this chance to update on what my job is about.

To begin, I work under camp high achievers as a outdoor camp instructor. Our campers are mainly primary school and secondary school students. But we do have some tertiary institutes or companies as our client. Our campsite is located around Singapore and our main campsite is at jalan Bahtera.

What do I do there? Well my job basically is to help students mixed well together to forge a better bond with each other. Some times it involve themes like leadership, team building, adventure and self-discovery. I will bring them through a series of activities which includes high elements, low elements, kayaking, rafting and other station challenges. But the best part is to guide the students to come out with a performance for their campfire night. Ever two group will come together to come out with a performance for the camp's finale which is often the highlight of the camp. The job also includes teaching songs, cheers and dance to students. At the end of it, I need to conduct a debrief and teach the campers about the lessons that they have learnt and the values that has been imparted to them.

I love my campers and the job very much. Although I have to sacrifice a lot of time with my friends outside, but I feel that it is worthwhile. I get to enjoy the fun activities and get to share experience with my campers and teach them some lifeskills that they can't learn in schools. It is truely an enriching job that is different from others. These are just the camper from my last camp. They are the leaders of Hougang secondary. They are just great.

This guy is my gay-mate. Every morning when I wake up, he will be beside me. He sticks to me almost all the time. But what can I say, I am just charming. He is quite cute with his smile. Wushu national team and a promising young kid. What a way to end off this block leave week.

Signing on...

2008-05-18T22:23:00.003+08:00

I have this thought of signing on. Be a regular in the army. Most likely as a commander in Tekong.

Don't get me wrong here. I am still not a army person nor do I support the idea of going into army. But I feel that it is a better place because I get to save up more money than being on the main island. Anyway, I don't think it will make much of a difference to anyone else other than myself.

In the meantime, I will be focusing on my business plan. Yes, I am going into my own business venture. With little start-up capital, I will aim to earn a monthly profit of at least a 4 figure for a start. It may sound little now but I rather start small and be realistic.

Feeling????

2008-05-11T18:37:00.002+08:00

Left with a few more hours to book in. The thing that I hate the most about army. I did not do much this time round. I only got time to rest at home and prepare myself for another long week of training.

Right now I am feeling rather emotionally down. I haven seem most of my friends for a long long time and I am really bothered by it. With all the physical and mental torture in the army, all that I can look forward to is a close friend to be by my side for the weekend and listen to all my complains or rather to eat good food with me. But it seems like I have not done so for a long time. I really miss all my friends. I really yearn to meet up with them and spend quality time together.

I am carrying this emotional burden for a long time already and I don't know how long more can I hold on and not collapse. I tried to find ways to block this feeling and to keep myself occupied but it seems to fail badly. I tried praying but there is really not a lot of time for me to do so in the army. Am I too emo? It is just too much for me to take. I really want a break. Now more than ever before.

This month is a unique month. Both my good friend Luke and Menghui is born in this very month. I have no time at all for them and I am feeling bad about it. It adds up to the mountain of pressure that is piling up in me. I really don't know how long can I hold on. The people in army fighting to outshine another is also another thing that bothers me. I have no wish to be in the limelight and to outshine the rest but it cause me to be in this very bad position which I really hate to be in.

How I wish I can stay at home and not go back to this dreadful island. Maybe to get a status which will excuse me from army....

this week...

2008-05-11T14:56:00.002+08:00

This week I had my situation test. Well, in general I would say it is fun. But the marching and fast march is the killer of the whole part. Maybe I am not too used to it. 12km route march to location and 4km route march. If you are thinking it is easy, try doing it with a fieldpack of about 15-20kg.

I did not perform well at all in it. Why? Firstly, my detail or group is made up of mostly blacks. I am not being racist here but I don't know how else to put it. During the whole test, they fight to speak out. So it was like a whole lots of ideas flying around. I did not want to add on to it because the ideas were already messy and everyone was fighting to outshine the others. During the implementing of plans, they each do their own ways and don't care about the initial plan that was mentioned. So I have no mood to chip in much.

I am the kind of people that would keep my opinions to myself even though I know it is better. No trying to be proud of what. It is because the situation is already so messy and the others are too determine to execute their plans and it won't make any difference if I say it out or not. They fight to tie the ropes with me even when they are not sure how to do it. In the end they make a whole mess of the knots and lashes.

The weekend was short and I don't have time for myself at all. I really miss my friends whom I have not seem for a long time. I really want to spend time with my friends chating over a cup of coffee or what-so-ever. But time is not on my side. Too busy to take a rest and to relax. Hope to end this BMT phase.

update....

2008-05-03T11:17:00.002+08:00

Don't really recall the last time I update my blog.

Soon all this will end. 1 more month to end of BMTC. I am still deciding whether I want to get into command school and be a commander and spend the rest of my 2 years of NS life in tekong training fresh recruits. Or I can slack and get into other units and be able to do camp as and when I like.

I miss doing camp so much. I really miss the actions and the news updates. Don't know when I can go back there.

Financially I am not managing well. Money is not coming in but money is going out. I really need to think of ways to earn more money. I want to be able to enjoy the relaxing lifestyle that everyone is enjoying....

missing you...

2008-04-05T21:02:00.001+08:00

I miss camp!!!!!!!!!!!

I want to do camp!!!!!!!!!

I want to go for camp!!!!!!!!!!!!

I miss all the campers!!!!!!!!!

I miss all the fun!!!!!!!!!!

Great testimony...

2008-03-10T19:55:00.002+08:00

Before I enlist into army, I hope to give a testimony for God's divine plan. For those non-believers out there, maybe this testimony will give you another thought of a Omnipotent God above human being.

How would you describe the friends beside you? I would say that the friends around me are a blessing from God. It is whom God bless me with. It is not luck or coincidence that someone close to you come knocking on your doors. How do you treat those around you? Would you share fortune and woes of your friends? It is not easy to make such promise and frankly I do not really expect friends around me to come to my aid when I am in deep trouble. Imagine that if I need $1000 sing dollars. How many would appear and lend me this money with no strings attached?

I am glad to say that God have blessed me with a few close friends that I can really rely on. Friends in church that I can count on and friends from schools whom I can rely on. Meng hui was the first church friend that I am really close with. I can be true to him and I know that he won't backstab me.We shared many fond memories together and many more ahead. We have this unique friendship that I can't really describe and I can't really explain. There was things I did that until today, I can't really answer why but to account it to God's will.

Second friend that I have in church that God bless me with was Luke. It was when Meng hui was enlisted and I needed a friend that I can communicate with. I prayed to God and he blessed me with someone I can joke with and be true with. There were things we do together that was unforgettable. For a start, the end of 2006, the beginning of 2007, the end of 2007 and the beginning of 2008 was spend with him. This are all dates that is full of memories that I will never forget. But frankly, I would rather spend it with a girlfriend if I had one. Nonetheless, I still treasure the friendship of Luke in my life. God is really great.

Then came Jiahao, which was out of a prayer I had. The friendship came really unexpected. It was after a G12 session that we grow to be very close. We spend almost everyday seeing each other except the days I was in camp working. I can't really say how this friendship came about. But I can say that I did pray for a new friendship because there was some conflict between Luke and I. This new found friendship grow to be stronger but I think it needs more time for maturing.

Whatever the case of friendship that God bless me with, I have only one thing to say. Each of them are special and unique. None of them can overtake another and none of them will smear the memory of another. They are equally precious to me. But it doesn't mean that my other friends are not as important to me. All of my close friends are equally unique to me.

For those who think that friendship is just another word in the dictionary, please think again. For those who think promise can be make easily, please reconsider. For those who think that brotherhood is simple, please revalue your friendship. For those who think it is all just luck and coincidence, it is not. There is someone there who have been praying about it and asking for God's divine intervention. Everything has been planned by God whether you like it or not.

Let God's will abound...

2008-03-09T20:45:00.002+08:00

I am really submitting to God and letting him decide my path for me. I have no solution that I am satisfied with. I have learnt it the hard way.

For those who want to know my results, sorry I won't speak a word. For those who know, congrats. But I won't tell anyone else about it. I can just say God has his plans. It is not something I can fathom.

I will not be doing camp for a period of time. I will be enlisted soon. I mean very soon. I will use the rest of my time doing something that I really want to do. To spend some quiet time alone or with friends I like.

cling or not to???

2008-02-23T21:27:00.002+08:00

I came upon this blog entry of my friend about human cling-ing on to others, be it tangible or not. This led me on to ponder whether it is really the case.

If you got a friend who is rich and always buying you things and always giving treats, will you cling on to him all the time? You are able to go out and experience a lot of new things and the best part is that you don't even need to pay a cent. Won't that be nice? Would you cling on to such a person? It feels so good to have people buying you things you like and treating you like a king. Seriously, that experience would be the nicest of all. If I ever had such a friend, I would also cling on to him all the time.

In terms of intangible assets, our memories is also cling-able to many. We like to think about the good old days and remain in that unrealistic dream. We rather cling on to false testimonials that others give to us than to accept the fact of who we are. The truth hurts and no one wish to face the cold hard fact whether it is cruel or not.

In another case, we hope to cling on to another. We wanted to have a partner in life and we are constantly searching for a stead. How many youngsters nowadays can stand being alone without having a stead? Be it personal desire, peer pressure or what-so-ever, youngsters hope to find that someone to cling on.

Whatever the case, we love to cling on to whatever we can. We as human love that comfort that another can give. That is why we always find someone or something that we can cling on to.

pseudo culture...

2008-02-21T20:07:00.002+08:00

I have been in church for just a few years but I feel that I have been around for a very long time. So many things happened and I can't help but wonder what will be of the church 10 years down the road.

The impression of church members to many might be friendly and well-bonded. But I wonder if this is the case. Is there really no hidden agenda? I beg to differ. Christians are human after all. They will still have their goals and their egos. Christians can also make use of others to achieve what they want. Frankly, I am quite sick of all this. I am disgusted by all the dirty tricks that all this self proclaim christians do. If I have the authority, I will surely kick them out of church. They are the ones that pollute the church and clog its reputation.

I really hate to see my friends in church leave. I mean those who are really close to me. I don't have that many close friends, that is why I treasure them so much. I don't mind the rest of the people leaving. Anyway, they are just normal hi-bye type of friends. Now, I am facing such a situation. Frankly, to some extent I blame myself for the cause of his backsliding. I am not around to encourage him and support him. But I hope that I can still do something to help. If he really leave for good, I don't know how long more can I stay in this church.

How can I find anyone else that I can have the same feeling for? The bonding will never be the same. The friendship will never be the same. The jokes and chemistry will never be the same. It is not easy to see a friend leave your side, especially someone that close. There isn't any one that can substitute that friendship as well. I won't allow anyone to substitute that friendship either.

Lastly, to this close friend of mine. I will always be here for you when you need me. I will be that close friend that can share your woes and be your support whenever you need. You are a part of my life and the bond I have with the church. I want to spent another year with you and to celebrate your birthday and the new year with you.

blinded by love...

2008-02-15T21:56:00.002+08:00

Love is a very complicated thing. It can make or break even the strongest person. Love also has the power to change someone completely.

When someone fall in love, they can do anything that is seemingly ridiculous. Going to the extend of plucking the stars for their love ones and planning for the most romantic date that no one has ever seen. Valentine's day have just passed and it presented the most complete picture of what love can be like in many different pattern. Some spend lots of money to buy the most romantic present for their love ones. Some get their friends to help create the most romantic heart-shaped candles. Whatever ways it is, it is no doubt the most heartwarming scene.

However, I am not here to take about love itself. I want to talk about the negative side of love. When two person fall in love with each other, they are willing to do anything for them. For example, the guys might spend hundreds on just a normal date. At the end of the month, he have spend thousand over just on their expenses. They would also trade their friends in just to spend that quality time with their love ones.

It is especially stupid if you see it from an unbias viewpoint. Spending so much time and money on a relation that will not last. It is not worth it for that period of romance if you think through it maturely. Cash doesn't buy true love. Moreover, students are the ones that is doing it. Students who are studying and have no income at all. They take money from their parents to please their love ones. How stupid can that be. How sincere can that love be if it is from someone else?

But love has this amazing power to blind everyone. Love can make people do stupid things and still think that it is sensible. It can cloud their thoughts and hinder them from making sound decisions. More than often, they are unable to make the right call and they neglect on those who really care about them.

All this being said, love is still a sacred thing between two individual. I am not against love. In fact, I adore true love and I feel for all the romantic acts. But I am unable to accept the fact that some people do not understand love and try to act as if they are able to handle it.

Friendship...

2008-02-15T20:31:00.002+08:00

Recently, a series of event happened. I don't know if it is a good thing or a bad thing. Whoever is in this matter, I am really wondering about what is going on.

I really hate to get involve into matters that is not regarding me. But it never seems to be that easy. All kinds of problem keeps appearing before me. I wonder if I am being used. Whether he is using me as a camouflage for his personal satisfaction. But I rather choose to think that he is not such a person. But I do not really know him enough to gauge that. I can just take a step at a time.

I wonder if you are daring or that you are just plain stupid. The actions that you are the actions that I have warned you not to. I don't know what do you want to prove. Casanova doesn't do things that they can't sustain. I can only do that much. Don't wait until things happen and then you regret. Listen to other people's experience then you decide what to do. Don't think that you are that great by yourself.

In the working world, nothing is as simple as it seems. Everyone has a agenda. Everyone says that male instructors always come in with a ulterior motive and I have seen quite a lot of it. I do not wish to bring in someone with that motive. Have I done the wrong in bringing him in? Should I step in to do something? I am really not sure what to do know.

conviction...

2008-02-10T23:03:00.000+08:00

Seriously I am feeling so f**ked up. Not pin-pointing anyone in particular. Maybe it is just my mood.

I never like to be involve in anything simply because I can never fake ignorance about things that I deem unfitting. Once I see something that is not in the right place or going the right way, I will not hesitate to stand up and comment on it. If I am ever in the wrong, I would rather my friends or my God come and tell me off. I get irritated when people try to brush me off. Likewise I will not do what I dislike to others. So, please if you like to do things your way never let me know.

My motto in life is "I am who I am". I hope that you who is reading this know will also adapt this motto in life. Never bother about what other people do or say. As long as it benefit yourself, just go ahead and do it. By benefiting I mean what is really good for yourself and not what you think is good. For example, people smoke and says that it can help to relieve stress. This is extremely common during major examination when students will use smoking as a form of releasing stress. But smoking in fact is bad for your health. I don't think I need to elaborate on that. So what will benefit is for one to not smoke instead and find an alternative to smoking.

There is more to life than self torment. One big reason why I can tolerate ah bengs is because I have once live in their shoes before. When I was in primary school, I skipped school, was canned by the principal, suspended, smoke, drink and did all kinds of stuff that kids think is trendy. But after doing all of it, it still doesn't fulfill that emptiness. Tattoo might seem trendy but it is a everlasting mark that will destroy your future. Think of what you want to do in the future. I can be more beng than anyone of you out there and I can make your life like hell if I want to. For those who is thinking of doing all these, unless you can outdo me don't try.

My temper is going from bad to worse. I think what I need now is some quiet time with God alone. I have this conviction this morning in church. I need to restart my spiritual walk. To begin everything afresh and put all my past achievements behind me. I can't do it alone and I really need help in this. I need the strength and mercy through my results which is coming out real soon and my family ties and friendships. I think this will be my agendas for this period of fasting.

I am not sure who is reading this post. But I request the help of two individuals who can help me through this period of trial. Luke Phua and Meng Hui, I hope that if you are reading this, you will pray for me as well and offer your help to me in this period of regaining my faith.

New year blues...

2008-02-08T22:39:00.000+08:00

Recently, I am feeling not myself. The feeling is kind of weird. Maybe it is new year or maybe it is nearing to the release of A levels. Either case, it is causing a surge of emotions in me.

I have been thinking about my A levels results. I have made quite a number of plans on what to do after recieving my results. If my result is really bad(which stands a very high chance), I will be redoing my As in army. I will be signing up as a private candidate and study while I am in army. It is the best solution I have, unless I can find some ways to get my hands on a few thousand for me to kick start my own business.

Maybe this is the reason for my emo-ness recently. I have been very emo this few nights before I fall asleep. Friends out there, I will be missing out on many of the gatherings and outings. Reason being that I am either busy, booked or I do not have the mood to go out. I can't entertain people while I am emo-fied. So please don't give me pressure by asking me why. But for those whom I promised a date, I will surely fulfill my promise.

Or maybe it is army that made me so cranky. I have this urge to enter into army as soon as possible. The wait is killing me. I don't even have the mood to do camps anymore. It is just too long a wait. I don't even wish to postpone it to April. I just want to go in and come out as fast as I can.

Don't even think about relationship. I have made it clear to all that now is not the time for relationship. Maybe when I enter into army and get too used to the routine. But now, I just want to use my time for other things. I have not tried many things and I don't intent to give them all up just because of relationship.

Maybe it is friendship. Even since I am doing camp, I have less time with my friends. I really wish to spend time with them but I simple don't have the time. If you know who you are and is reading this blog, hope you will understand. I really miss you guys. After I go into army, I guess I will have less time for you.

I think it is all of this added up together that made me so emo. Valentine's day next week is also another problematic date. I hope to shun away from the crowd and avoid everyone.

wish...

2008-02-05T19:14:00.000+08:00

Old friends... I really hope to find time to have a simple meal with you all...

Especially my special friend whom you know who you are...

declaration...

2008-02-05T16:08:00.000+08:00

I haven been updating my blog for a very long time. Now that I got the time, I want to record down all that have happened for the past weeks.

For the past weeks, I have be doing camps. So basically I was away from civilization for a very long time. The only modern technology I have with me is my handphone which I don't really have time to use. But I can still reply messages at night. I mean really late night like 12-2am that kind of slots.

But for this two weeks I don't have any camps. So I guess I will be around for this 2 weeks. I will be back doing my badminton coaching because I need the money. I am really broke and I don't have any spare cash on hand. So if anyone want to ask me out for a drink, please go to some cheap places.

Next week I might be going for campfire. That depends on my mood for the day and also who is going. If I can't find anyone to go with me, then I think I won't be going down. It is valentine's day and it is very sad for me to spend it alone in camp without anyone to accompany. So my fellow friends, you will know what to do.

For now, it will be a phase of resting and earning ready cash for me. The next time I appear again, I will regain my mojo.

Instructor-ship...

2008-01-27T21:03:00.000+08:00

I have been doing camps since the start of the year. Nothing much changes but the way I view things have changed.

After meeting with so many different kind of people, I have learnt that every one have their own thinking and the way they do things. I must admit some ways are not really effective and some ways are just selfish. It just reflects how the person is and his character.

Frankly, I don't like some people from the company. But as long as I don't need to work with them, I am fine with it. I am not being judgemental but it is just the truth. I don't wish to hang around bad company but if those around me do so, I won't interfer.

Anyway, I will be away on camp for the rest of the week. I should be away for quite long. I hope to get in touch or maybe go out with my friends someday.

Civilization feel so weird..

2008-01-20T18:42:00.000+08:00

It feel strange to be back in civilization after a week of camp. I am not getting use to it. The train ride feel so weird. I can't tell what is it really. Every thing feel so strange to me. I wonder if this will be the feeling when I am in army.

I think I got this withdrawal syndrome. I do not feel easy being near people and I always want to return home. Since yesterday, I have been sleeping for more than 20 hours. I feel so tired even after a good sleep. I want to be in camp now. I am not use to this freedom I have now. It is too free and I have nothing much to fill in this gap except for my coaching.

I hope that the next 2 days will pass by quickly and I will be back to camp. The seemingly familiar place where I need not worry about so many stuffs. My friends, I will be away but I will still be contactable. Where ever I am, if anyone really miss me, feel free to call or sms. But if you want to have a long conversation, sms me to check if I am busy with campfire.

Anyway, I will be back on the end of the month because there is going to be something big coming up.

camping all day long...

2008-01-19T21:22:00.000+08:00

If anyone is wondering where I have been for the past 2 weeks, I am here to let the whole world know. But again, most likely no one even know that I am away. Anyway, I am still going to blog about what happened so that I can store all the fond memories.

I was with a group of new found friends that made me feel so enjoyable every second of the day. We share jokes and cover each others ass. Did things together and had lots of fun. No, I am not taking about army if that is what you've guess. I am talking about my job. Although I am new in the company, the others really take of me. They helped me with a lot of things and teach me many things on the way.

I am going to take on many more camps and probably I will be away from next week onwards all the way until the end of the month. I hope to be able to see all of the instructors I know in all the upcoming camps. We will make the camp the most enjoyable camp that we all have been to ever. I must say I am a little hesitance about the next camp. Young girls everywhere and I don't know if I am able to manage it. So I must really pray for a good mirror group to help me along.

For the moment, I will be resting for the next camp next week. I really miss the familiar environment that I am in. My comfortable bed and good food. I feel like I have been away from civilisation for a long time. While watching TV today, I feel like I have miss out on a lot. I must really catch up with time while I am still around. But the most important thing for me is still to sleep and rest. Going out will only happen if I am not tired.

Friends who is reading this and is seriously wondering where I have been to and is missing me, please leave a tag to let me know. I am hoping that there is at least 1. But again, my blog counter will show the number of people visiting my blog.

greater learning into Romans... Romans 5

2008-01-08T11:37:00.000+08:00

Romans 5

Faith, being the key to our living will bring us closer to God. For it is written, through faith that we enter the glory if God. Suffering produces endurance, endurance produces character, character produces hope and hope is the ultimate goal to God's love.

God sent his son to die for us and we can now be save through the grace of Jesus Christ. Before that, we were sinners. But Jesus did not despise us and even sacrifice himself so that we can be closer to God. Therefore, after he died, we are now closer to God and in so, we must be even more willing to do the work of God and harmonize in his work.

The result of sin is death. For when sin enter into this earth through Adam and Eve, death came along as well. This happened even in the beginning where the law wasn't even born. But the grace of God is different. It is birth through the death of one who brings along resurrection and life. With the death of one, we can all receive the gift of eternity and righteousness and rejoice in Christ.

The world is full of sins. Therefore as sin brings along death, the sacrifice of one for the sake of many will be glorified. Where sins abound, grace abounds even greater over sin. For in obedience, grace and mercy is brought forth so that we can enjoy the gift of eternal life.

greater learning into Romans... Romans 4

2008-01-07T11:53:00.000+08:00

Romans 4

This seems to be a turn in the attitude of Paul. Here, it speaks about the blessings of God and those who are eligible for this blessing.

In simple, everyone is eligible for the blessings of God as long as they turn from their old ways and admit of their past lawlessness. Those whose sins been forgiven through the covenant with God will also be able to receive the blessings. It is not only for those who have been through the ritual of circumcision but for those who isn't as well. In today's context, it means that not only the Jews, but all the others as well. Even us asians, chinese and all the others.

In this chapter, the word 'Faith' appear many times. It just prove to show that what we need is to have faith for the promises that God have for us. It is actually very simple. All we need to do is just to believe and what we desire, we will receive. In faith, all we do will be counted as righteous. But there is a lot of grey area which I am not going to talk about. If you wish to know, come find me.

moody...

2008-01-06T22:04:00.001+08:00

I feel like going into NS tomorrow. I can't find anymore things to fill up my empty schedule. Nothing seems to fill up all the empty slots. Not even my work which is like so irregular.

Don't know why but I am very moody nowadays. Can't really pinpoint the cause of it and I don't know what is wrong. Maybe is because I think too much or that I am too emo. But I can't control what goes into my mind. It is just the many random thoughts that goes through. I don't even know what is in there that made me so moody.

Today Ida say that my blog very emo. She is not the first to say that. Many others have said that my blog entries are very emo. I was unable to offer an answer to her because that is just me. I might appear cheerful but I am quite emo inside. What I feel is that there is no point for me to display my emo-ness to others. Why make the crowd emo together? As long as I don't breakdown, I guess it is harmless.

Maybe the solution to my moody-ness is a relationship? Maybe what I need is a companion? After all, it is almost time for me to get into a serious relationship. I am not that young to flirt and play around with girls anymore. Or maybe not. I don't think I am ready for a relation. I am going into Army soon and I love badminton too much to let go of it for anything else. Unless the girl plays badminton or any other racquet sports that I can play as well. But I am not going to think much about that.

Now what I can do is to find some happy thoughts to brighten up my days. Maybe my friends who are ready this can leave me a tag so that I will have something to do while at home. I know that there is quite a few people reading my blog. I don't mind criticism but please leave your name. I won't kill you or blacklist you if you do so. I just don't want people to get me wrong.

Growing up...

2008-01-05T23:15:00.001+08:00

Every wonder why time flies? Time is something we want to control but failed to do so. No matter what we do, time will still pass. What remains is only our despair and regrets.

How long is your longest friendship? I mean real friendship which you have constant contact. Not those you meet once in a blue moon and say hi, bye type. I am glad I know a few friends for about 14 years now. Some is just short of 1 or 2 years than this record. But even though we have known each other for so long, we will not get sick of it. There is always something interesting that pops into the conversation. Although the path that we have chosen is very different, we are not that much different inside.

Now, we get to meet with even more people and friends from all corners of the world. Our friendships is stretched even greater. We can call someone brother when we only know that person like a few months and sometimes a few hours. How much do you really know about that person? For me, I don't mind telling my close friends whatever they wished to know. As long as they asked, I will let them know everything about me. My logic is very simple. Good friends should know everything about each other. There shouldn't be anything to hide.

As we are growing up, we need more of such friendships. Ever so often we hear people say that there is no true friendships in the working world. I do agree to it. After all, we are all after some personal gains. Sometimes friends are being played out just to achieve some personal gains. Friends are so fake in this world where the fittest survive. You don't know when you will be sold out just to allow your so-called buddy to achieve something else.

My wish is very simple. I want to be able to retain my friendship with my old friends and better my friendship with my new friends.

Good old friends: choon poh, dianto, yew on, yun xiang, wei hao, jun kai, han zhong, wei ann, benny, Stephanie, gek peng, sook wai, hui min
New good friends: Elton, Eugene, Johny, Luke Phua, Meng hui, hui shan, marilyn

greater learning into Romans... Romans 3

2008-01-05T10:00:00.001+08:00

Romans 3

This is a rather complicated chapter. There is a lot of rhetorical questions. It takes about the status of Jews and Gentiles.

There will be black sheep everywhere. Although of the Jews were unrighteous and does evil, it does not reflect that their God is also the same. Even through their unfaithfulness, God is still faithful to them. But we can't find excuse to justify our sins.

Jews or Gentile, both are judge by God in the same way. No one is above another and everyone is equal before the law of moses and the father above. If there is no God in our life, death is at our doorsteps. Therefore, be reminded at all times to do what is just and right.

For we have all done wrong and we cannot use our merits to bribe our way into the kingdom. It is only through the grace that we are able to be redeemed. Therefore, we must be even more conscious of the law and abide it at all cost. Everyone will be judge according to the same standards and no one is above another. The only thing that differentiate us is by our righteousness and obedience.

greater learning into Romans... Romans 2

2008-01-04T11:50:00.000+08:00

Romans 2

This chapter talks about the judgement we made. In the ESV, the words are more simplified and it is more focus. To me, I feel that it is for all Christians to learn.

Whenever we judge people, we tend to forget to look to ourselves. When we look down on people who lie, do we not lie ourselves? No matter the intention, a lie is still a lie. Be it a white lie or for the sake of others, the fact remains that it is still a lie. When we judge people on the account that we ourselves have committed the same sin, we will be judge and condemn as well. Do not think that because God is forgiving and is merciful, he will forgive. Although God is mercy, he is quick on sins. So if you who knows God and sin, he will not forgive.

God not just execute punishment, he reward as well. For those who constantly do his work and for his glory went through hardship, He will justly reward. On the other hand, those who turn a deaf ear on God's word and is self-seeking, will bear the tribulation. God is fair and he will do according to what we deserve. Not just for leaders, but for every member as well. We will all reap what we sow.

Glory to those who have the word in their heart and do what is pleasing to God even in the midst of their hardship. Woe to those who have the word of God but neglect it and bend it to their own desires. At the end of days, God will judge the deepest of our secret. Our every desire will be put out before Him to be judged upon. So let our every desire and doing be honorable to God.

If anyone consider themselves to be a leader either by appointment or voluntary they must do and approve only those that is instructed by the law. For a leader must lead by example and be a life-example to demonstrate God's glory. If he who teaches does not practice what he preach, it will be an act of blasphemy. Even if he has been through the ceremony of appointment, he is no greater than those who have not yet keep hold of God's direction. It is the ceremony of appointment in the heart which is greater than that of physical process. Our ultimate happiness comes from God's praise and not man.

In short, this chapter is telling us to lead a life that is righteous. When the judgment comes, we are able to stand before the Father and say that what we have done is pleasing to God and deserve the praise of God. Our lives are all a mirror of God's love, mercy and hatred against sin.

greater learning into Romans... Romans 1

2008-01-03T12:05:00.001+08:00

Romans 1

This work that I am doing now is part of my daily devotion, so for those who is not a Christian, you may choose to close this window. I am doing a insight on the work of Paul, starting from Romans. God lead me to this books for my devotion, so I guess I should do it in depth. I love the work of Paul because it is so straight forward. It points out all the sins and wrongdoings and the consequences of them, without twisting it to make it sound pleasing.

Paul as the apostle of God was chosen to preach the gospel to the gentiles. His school of learning, Gamaliel and also those from Christ Jesus have been the driving force of his ministry. Though he was faced with oppositions, he was not despair. Even when he was put in jail, he was still doing Gods work, in Acts16:25-40. Although he seems to be alone in his work, he is not. He has the constant company of God. Therefore, he is not afraid of all that is to come.

In Romans 1, Paul started this book by giving an account of himself and his mission assigned by the One above. Although many who have read this will skip through the detail, but it is a very strong statement that he has made. Here, he is reaffirming his duty. He proudly announce his calling and his work through the Father. He is not ashamed for who he is and what he is doing.

Paul, in his life was full of communication with God. He is always communicating to God and God is his witness for all that he has done. His only desire to to spread the gospel not for his own fame and glory, but to the Father above all creations. His gift to the gentile was to strengthen them and help them to be mutually encouraged. He is not bias to the Jews or the gentile. His goal is only to the far corners of Rome, so that everyone will be able to receive the gospel.

For the unrighteous who have heard the truth but did not honor it, or those who do are too proud to receive guidance, God will give them up in the lust of their heart to the impurities. They exchanged truth with lies. The worship the created rather that the creator; the golds rather than God. False prophets and those alike will all perish without the grace of God.

Those who choose immorality or moral acts will face the same judgement. For they dwell in their unnatural relationships. They are consumed with the love of those of the same make and ended up paying the penalty of their folly.

With the self-righteousness in their heart, they give themselves up to all sorts of sins. Those against themselves and those against those who are close to them. Be it deceit, covetousness, malice, envy, hatred, boastful or even slandering. Although they know that these are wrong, they not only practice them but also approve of others who does the same. The only result is death.

Although Romans 1 is so short, the words are very powerful. It points out all the sins that we thought is not wrong and that we can neglect on it. But the truth is not so. If we are slacken on all these sins and lust of the world, our only result is to be forsaken by God and his love. So let us not find excuses in our actions and admit to our sins before the final verdict is passed.

fairy tales...

2008-01-02T23:04:00.000+08:00

Ever heard of the tales of peter pan, little red ridding hood, snow white and the other what-not? These tales are all concluded with a happy ending and wonderful storyline which is almost the same. But I wonder if it is ever possible in the real world...

Peter Pan left a huge impact in my mind. A kid who refuses to grow up and have the greatest imagination. A close companion, Tinkerbell who is ever ready to put out her life to save him. Peter Pan also have a group of friends whom he brought over to Neverland because they have a sad experience which they eagerly wanted to give away. There he fight with the evil captain hook who have this hatred towards kids and the crocodile who bite off one of his hand.

Many a times I hope that I can meet Peter Pan and ask him to bring me to this amazing land where kids will not age and where happy thoughts abound. I can then leave this world and forget everything that have left a sad memory in my mind. I hate to think about all those bad memories when the day turned dark or when I am alone.

Growing up is so scary. The deceitful world where everyone is waiting to prey on another. Or the fact that everyone does things with a motive, even when making friends. Everyone just hopes to hear the nice things and detest all the negative comments. Unlike being young where every single soul is so pure and untainted. Being kids, you can say anything directly and not hide any feelings. Scheming wasn't even in the vocabulary of these kids.

If we were in Neverland, we will probably like it there and not wanting to leave. The companion of friends everyday, good clean fun and no worries is the key to living in Neverland. Everyone is so true to each other and without any motive in their actions. This is the life I am yearning for. I love to be with my friends, I love fun and most importantly, I love food. Did I mention that the food in Neverland is tuned to our imagination. That means if we image the food to be delicious, then it will be.

What more in life do we need than to have a close friend beside you 24/7? Our happiness is limited by our expectations. But in Neverland where time is of no importance, every desire in life will be worthless. Education, abilities and talents are of no use. Since we have all the time in the world, we can do whatever we want. In this sense, there is no need for all these worldly things we sort after with all our might.

My only wish now is to meet Peter Pan and ask him to take me back with him...

New year resolutions...

2008-01-01T14:12:00.000+08:00

New year resolution 2008

Before anything else, I hope to gain greater spiritual maturity. I hope to be able to withstand any great blows in every aspect of my life. For example my A level result, I hope that I am able to accept any grades that I am getting.

I also hope to be able to get a few licenses by the end of 2008. For a start, I would want to get a coaching license then a kayaking license all the way up to 3 stars. If I have the extra cash, I would get a driving license.

I would also hope to be able to improve all my relationships with my friends. I want to let all my friendship blossom and grow strong. I will devote all my time to my friends whom have been with me through all these years.

A rather ambitious wish, but I will make sure it will work out. That is to start a mini- business of my own. I did some surveys and research and I am almost ready to step into the business world. I am not aiming for big money, but rather just a good foundation to start out with.

Without a choice, I will be in National Service. Therefore, I hope that I will be able to survive through all that is installed for me. Although it is not in my best interest to be in there, I will still give it my best. Hopefully, to be able to know more friends.

A new look and a new attitude will be my aim for 2008. I am who I am. I will learn to put forth myself and a new me to people. In the process, to learn more about myself and to discover the person deep inside.

Another important thing I need to achieve is to keep fit. To train up my body, not for showing off, but to prepare myself for the tough life in the army. I need to step up on all my workouts and double everything.

stepping over...

2008-01-01T11:30:00.000+08:00

2007's 31dec was spent almost the same as 2006's. I was with the same person and at the same place, doing the same thing.

Did some catching up before the year come to a close. Well, it is one of my new year resolution which I am going to put up real soon. The topics we chat are rather sensitive so I guess I won't post up the content.

Town is still the same every year. With the few places packed with a big crowd and people waiting to countdown. At the same time, there is a big group of footloose color waiting to take advantage. Well, it is just the typical thing that will happen. Anyway, it is just once night.

Wonder if you will be reading this, anyway, I want to tell you that I really enjoyed your company for the night. It has been a long long time since we last hang out together and I was always wished to have the chance to go out with you. It is just that there is no opportunity.

With all due respect, I have already seen all this coming but I don't think it will be this quick. God already hinted me the whole outcome and I still thought it was my wild imagination. But don't worry, at least you have seen the truth now rather then when it sinks deeper.

Please don't give up on anything because of this. I believe you are stronger than that. Don't waste your money on those things which is not desirable. If you want, can use that money to buy me a meal. If you really need, then do some sports to relieve the pain that you are feeling. I promise that I will be there when you need me. You know what kind of person I am and if you expect me to just sit aside and watch you suffer and torture yourself, it is just impossible.

I don't mind late night calls to chat and I don't mind going out late. The only thing I mind is that you keep everything to yourself and suffer injustice. I don't think I need to tell you what the bible says because you will have already knew it.

Anyway, 2007 was a year of obstacles. Things happen and great trials awaits. The worse part is my A levels which I know I did not perform to my best. Friendship was also a great challenge in my life. But whatever the problem, I am glad I am able to survive to see 2008.

Lets hope that 2008 will be a new beginning for all of us. Things will be better in this new year. For me, it will be NS and result. What pain and anxiety.

big decision...

2007-12-27T21:29:00.000+08:00

Today's interview was not the usual type that you would have guessed. It was somewhat unique yet normal to the industry in a way.

I don't know why but I got the chance to choose from two different group. One is flexible timing and good pay. 12 dollars per hour and almost all assignments are half a day. The other is 3d2n and the pay per assignment is 12o dollars.

I don't know which to choose. One offers good pay and the other offers good fun. Both is what I want. But I have to give up fun for money or to money for fun. It is really a great dilemma. Whats worse is that I have to make the decision by tomorrow morning.

Please anyone who is reading this, please give me some advice.

identity crisis...

2007-12-26T20:53:00.000+08:00

I am very confuse about myself.

I am not really into very active things and quite a soloist, but I keep getting into jobs that is very adventurous and sporty.

If you ask me, getting into a crowd and entertain people is the last thing I will do. Whats more to motivate people and coax someone. The worse part is to get all high and enthu and lead people to do things.

But I got myself into jobs that need me to do all of these things. The current job that I am in require me to teach kids. To be frank, I get irritated by them very often and I nearly wanted to kill them. But at least there is a few kids that can make my blood pressure go down.

Now I am shortlisted in another job that require me to do the same things. I hope that I am able to get this job. It has something to do with camping.

Its the time...

2007-12-25T18:56:00.000+08:00

It is the time again to do up a new year resolution.

This time I am going to do up a realistically ambitious resolution for 2008.

I will make sure I achieve all the aims that I am going to have for the new year.

Sad Christmas...

2007-12-23T22:35:00.001+08:00

Feeling very sad at the moment.

Tomorrow is 24 December. Christmas eve to the many. I can't join my friends in the celebrations because I got to work. I really want to spent the Christmas with many of my friends but I don't think I am able to do it. I really want to ask my friends out late night but I think that many of them are unable to do so. It is also not convenient for them to come over here to spent the Christmas night with me.

How I wish I have a girlfriend at this moment. Then I can at least have someone to spend the night with. But too bad I don't have any girlfriend. So it will just be a lonely Christmas for me. The two person I wish to spend the day with is both staying very far from me. Although one of them stay at the west, I don't think he is willing to come down and spend the day with me. I guess this special friend of my will surely have plans of his own and I do not want to disturb.

My special friend, I wonder if you are reading this but today's message have really spoke to me that I need to reconcile my friendship with you. The good old days which was so sweet has lost it's taste and I need to find the special sugar which can bring back the long lost goodness.

Soon it will be the end of the year and I really want to be with my friends. It has really been a long time since we went out together. Maybe we have all grown up and we have our own group of friends, but I am sure there is still a little of me in your mind. I don't know if you are willing but I will always avail myself.

I think I am getting too emo already. But I still miss the Christmas. I didn't thought that I will get so affected by it. If you are someone I miss, please ask me out?

small small world...

2007-12-18T21:05:00.001+08:00

It is really a small world...

A knows B

C knows D

A knows C

B knows D

Most importantly....

I know all A B C and D...

HAHAHAHA...

Okay.. I am getting mad here...

Christmas blues...

2007-12-16T18:43:00.000+08:00

Christmas is at our doorsteps once again. After 265 days, it is back again. The hours we spent to prepare for any event on the actual day and the time shopping for gifts. It is a hectic period for almost everyone, with all the Christmas parties lined up and gathering everywhere.

But I feel that Christmas has lost its true meaning. The day where our saviour Jesus Christ was born and his heavy burden that he carried on him. But everyone had already forgotten about him and substituted him with another character that is more popular than Jesus. I guess Santa Claus has already appeared in our mind. Don't worry, I am not here to preach. My point to make is that we have all forgotten the true meaning, even Christians alike.

This year, I am quite reluctant to celebrate Christmas. In fact, I am working on the eve of Christmas. So I guess I won't need to spent money on buying presents for people this year, because I won't be seeing them. Anyway, it is not about gift and all. I detest the idea of Christians exchanging gifts in church on this day as well. They can spent the time buying gifts but not the time inviting someone.

I am going to have a sad Christmas this year. Having to work even on the eve of Christmas is unsound. But I rather go for work then to go into church and see all the Christians eagerly exchanging gifts and talking about where to go after that. It is just so ridiculously insulting.

Anyway, it is coming to the end of the year. Another year have past and we are getting a year older. Time for a new set of realistic resolutions again. Things are no more what it used to be.

But all this being said, I would still like to spent this festive occassion with some close friends. I would like to end the year with the person I started the year with. I want spent the christmas with all those who impacted my life and a nice turkey(which I have no idea why turkey instead of chicken). Wishes wishes. Wonder when will they come true...

strange decision...

2007-12-13T22:25:00.000+08:00

I had this talk with an old friend recently and I can't help but wonder how can anyone be so tolerating? I am not as forgiving as he can and I can't fake ignorance at all. It happened with this person and lets call him A.

A had this group of good friends which many think that they are very close. But when A step into this new environment, he changed. Now it just seem to be much more closer to this new group of friends that I somethings wonder who is really his friend. He spend all of his time with this new group of people and just cheat his old group of friends. What anger me most is that this people still think he is a nice guy who is always there for them. Most importantly, he is a christian leader. Why do I know? Well, I am in-between this two groups of people that's why.

Which part of the bible teach him to behave like that? I am certain that is not from the bible and I am sure that is not how a christian should be. I don't know why A just can't tell the truth and tell either of the group the truth. Why hide the truth from those who still treat you as their close friend? What among this christian friends is so attractive that you sacrifice those whom you have known for so long? Don't you worry that you will loss their friendship? Or maybe that is what you really want?

I just can't take it lying down. Those whom you treat as close friend in this new group, I will hate every single one of them. My attitude will be foul and I will not change how I behave. One thing I can't tolerate is for someone to hurt my friends. Even if one of my friend hurt another, I will not take it lying down. There is nothing I don't know, there is only things I don't want to know. If it is not for some friends who ask me to close one eye and stand aside to watch how A suffer when the truth is uncovered, I will go straight to A and throw it right into his face.

If this is the teaching of the church, I don't want to be a part of it. I hate to know those new friends that A have. I will choose not to cross path with all those people. I will also not want to befriend any of them because I think that they are just naive people. When people say that A is a very nice person, I will just mock at their ignorance. That they don't really know A enough. That they will soon faced the sad truth of being cheated by A again. My condolences to all those who still think that A is a nice guy and a good friend.

warlords...

2007-12-13T13:28:00.000+08:00

兄弟结义各杀一个外人

从此，兄弟的命就是命

其他的，皆可杀！

这就是投名状。

Chalet...

2007-12-09T20:53:00.000+08:00

Was away at a class chalet this weekend. It is always nice to meet up with old friends and chat under the stars.

It was a nice experience this time as we did something very new. We washed the floor of the chalet. We played with the cakes and smash it almost everywhere. The whole floor was littered with the cream and cakes. We had no choice but to wash the whole floor or else we will not be able to sleep.

People came and leave like they do in our lives but the thing that last will be the fond memories that we hold. I remembered this saying the only thing that never changes is change. We all have matured and grow but we are still the same us. Our playful nature is still visible and our attitude never change. This time we all had a fun experience and enjoyed ourselves amidst all our exams and school work. I am glad that we have this opportunity to come together again.

I will post some photos of the past few days and some insights of this chalet. I almost forgot that it was Benny's ORD day as well. Now its time for you to start a new phase before any of us even dream of it. All the best my friend.

part part time...

2007-12-07T10:42:00.001+08:00

Got myself a really part time job. The timing for the job is not confirm. Anytime I am needed, I need to be there. The pay is not very promising but it is certainly something I want to be doing.

I am an assistant Badminton coach if you are wondering what I am doing. I help out with some coaching of all levels. Currently I am helping 1 coach but I will be liaising with more coaches. I am expecting more client when school term starts. But for now, it will do.

My current assignments is still very relaxing but next week onwards, I will be busy everyday. I am doing umpiring duty for Ashaway tournament. The pay for the event is not really very good, but I am hoping to make use of the opportunity to know more coaches so that I can have more assistant job. This is the first time I am doing official umpiring job and I am afraid I mess it up. I don't want to receive any complains. It is also a good chance to know more badminton lovers. Maybe to find a girlfriend who love badminton?(just kidding)

This will also be a platform for me to experience coaching and learn a thing or two about professional coaching. Then I will go and get my coaching licence and be a certified coach. Next time you see me, I will be a real coach and you need need address me as coach. Isn't that cool?

It is a tiring job. Unlike those who stay in the office or in air-conditioned environment, I actually need to sweat to earn my pay. To coax little kids and to teach them proper strokes. A little bit scary. When playing, everyone has their own style and stroke, but we need to teach the standard to the beginners. I almost forgot how to do the basics. I don't want my own coach Lin mu to throw face also. So I got to do my best.

Coach Edwin aka zihao signing off

A special song for a special friend...

2007-12-04T22:42:00.000+08:00

手足

K:我要有信心

却飘得仿佛水母

我要看远景

却始终仿佛守株兔

天天有烦恼

怪世界太讲彩数

你会说有时大嗌很好

S:两个要上街

喝啤酒必须冰冻

两个去唱K

由得我借歌哭诉

想得到得不到

哪个有心知道

有人为我赶到

B:*"手足"只得两个字"

所以只有两个知

今晚很想见见面

想散心心照得你可以

难解释难休息

城市太多争霸战

各有各去应战天光冲刺

"手足"只得两个字

感觉点只有你会知

不必多讲半个字

一辈子只有跟你可以

谁失踪谁失忆

城市太少不会变

各有各去应战

天黑相见*

S:担起了太多

轻松却太少

方知道这就叫成年

一起去眼浅

一起去上链

方知道和谁极相似

(人越大就越想幼稚

就好似越闷越想数下手指

同事朋友都总会知

对住边个好似唔使变脸

好多时我都会知想点

好多野但系唔想人知

好彩仲有手足手足手足

两个字)

18禁不禁...

2007-12-02T15:16:00.000+08:00

Watched a lot of Taiwanese drama last few weeks. To me, almost all these series revolve around the same story line. But there is still a few that is outstanding.

Like this 18禁不禁, I think it is especially touching. The story line is so simple and close to our heart. The life of a student facing all the challenges in school and a maturing young adult facing problems of school. The most heartwarming thing is the friendship forged in the process. Through every challenges in life, there is always that few friends who stick closer than family.

It reminded me of the last day of school where we will probably see our friends for the last time. For a better future and one that each of us have that is different from another. Although many things came by, there is always a lesson to be learn and a better relation to be forged.

What is nice about the drama is that for every episode, there is a small sharing of experience which I think is the lesson for us to learn from that episode.

I guess what makes it so different from other drama is the close to heart story line. The familiar situations featured in the drama is something we faced in our school life. I would say it is an exclusive experience that no poly or ite students can experience. I am not saying it is superior, but the atmosphere that we have.

I envy all the students who can be in a school studying. Given a choice, I would want to go back in time to experience that lifestyle again. To treasure that moment and grasp every opportunity that is presented before us.

梁漢文 - 好朋友

2007-11-29T12:47:00.000+08:00

梁漢文 - 艦隊

2007-11-29T12:44:00.001+08:00

耿耿於懷-麥浚龍

2007-11-29T12:30:00.001+08:00

成魔之路-麥浚龍

2007-11-29T12:15:00.000+08:00

Music...

2007-11-29T01:07:00.000+08:00

Songs are always the best tools to record history. With every bits of bitter and sweet, the songs stores all the memories we have.

Spent this afternoon listening to some old songs and reminiscing the good old days. The songs that we listen to in the past was just so memorable. I doubt the teens of today will enjoy what we used to listen to. Groups like S club 7, backstreet boys, westlife, Spicegirls, A1 and even MLTR. Chinese artist like Sky Wu, Wu qi xian, Andy lau and Richie Ren. There is a different set of memory for every single era or genre of music.

Strange enough, with every different memory that scans by a different group of friends zoomed pass. Some that share a fond memory when we were still kids and some is those who share a closer bond when we were teens. All these are deeply entrenched within our heart. Music is the best way to store these good times besides photographs. After all, it is not always that we can put our memories on a glossy paper. Cameras are not as popular an item as it is now.

We can easily get lost while listening to all these memorable songs. Without knowing, we can easily spent hours indulging in this melodious tone. Different from what we are used to now, the music of the past are more soft and slow. The lyrics brings more emotion than the music. With ever line, a different feeling surge through our heart. It just seem so miraculous how these music can move our heart.

But now, it is hardly possible to find such memories in the present day music. With all the rock and hip hop, the feeling is totally different. It is not the old warm and touching feeling but a new kind of hatred, anger and sorrow. It seems that songs featuring friendship, love and fun times are all outdated. People just think that we are old, outdated and not trendy when we are listening to these music. But often, it is this music that can last the trial of time. For example, Peng you by zhou hua jian. How many have not heard this song before? I can safely say not many.

Let us all just take this opportunity to find a song that we can relate to. A different song for a different memory. Maybe we can find one that you and me share.

跳班生-Boy'z

2007-11-28T16:34:00.001+08:00