Wednesday, May 31, 2006

nowadays when i see people i feel very sick. i just don't want to get to know them. when i see people that i know, i will just pretend i did not see them. i just feel that i have seen the ugly side of human and i do not want to see any more if i can. i will just find anyway possible to escape from crowds and people. everyone just have a ugly side and it is time we find them out or when they surface later, it might just be too late. it is so hard to just smile and pretend to be happy and joke and chat with people. it is just not me. even the test we did for learning style in school prove that i am a solitary person and i am just not good with people. hope that one big fire will just wipe out every human in this world so i need not see them. now just in the process of changing ALL the friends i had to a totally new group. i even want totally isolation from them and stop all forms of contact. this will stop when i can find the "perfect" group of friends which are not as ugly.

to think for others is so hard and they just don't understand. people just like to reason things out with their naive ideas. so i will start to think more for myself than for others...