Don't know why but feel like watching "I not stupid too", so i watch it. "you are not finish if you lose, you are finish if you give up." This sentence spoke to me and got me thinking. Many a times in life we face many challenges and we may even fall and fail one or two or them. But we really fail if we give up. There is this phrase i like "runner run to the finish line even if someone else reach it first." It is not a matter of being first but of completing it. Our greatest opponent is ourselves and not anyone else and we are only competing with ourself. We are our own greatest obsticle. Friends are friends during good times. In life we may have many friends around us and we may even call most of them our best friend or our close friend but when problem arises how many can we call upon? many will just flee away and those remaining will just give excuses like "i am not free" and "i am busy". Or have we told this to anyone before? But if we think again, will we say the same thing to someone we really consider a true friend? will you make time out for him/her? Our expectations of things might not be the same as those we expect of. Ever have that experience that your coach is asking for an impossible task out of you? Like asking you to do footdrill or 20 minutes and you say impossible and thinks that the coach is unreasonable and inconsiderate. But for some reason, we are able to complete the task. After a long time than we know that that act really benefits. We never know whats good for us till its too late.
zihao blogged at 6/30/2006 11:43:00 PM
Wednesday, June 28, 2006
The feeling now is like rotting at home doing nothing. feel like going school and do some work but too tired to move and travel. can't do much since school has started and everyone is preparing or even in the mist of exams. rest to much and i can't even start on my work at home. so many things not done and so little time. I am like stuck here while time is still moving and i don't know what to do. want to get into a recreational activity to spend my free time, or if i have any for that matters. My father asked me a question yesterday and it kept me thinking. He asked if i am interested in music. well firstly i am tone deaf and so i am left with instrument and i can play none. if i waqnt to learn, it means i have to spend money. Might as well use the money to eat. Anyway, music is not something i fancy, i am not too much of a art person. maybe i will go learn guitar during december if i have the time. But now is still badminton for me till i can't play anymore. with all the physical injuries i suffer i might end up destroyed by badminton. But it isn't that bad if you think about it. It means i will not be in PES A or B certainly and with a serious back injury, i can have a relaxing NS life. But to tell people you are a sportsman and is unfit, thats weird. Anyway, hope next monday can come soon. Never expect myself to want to return to school. have alot of things i want to do. In the mean time, finding ways to comfort myself.
zihao blogged at 6/28/2006 01:19:00 PM
Sunday, June 25, 2006
Down with chickenpox and have been sick for the past week and got an MC for two weeks until 2/7. This means i am going to miss block test and don't know what to do. Am i going to have make up or what about this 30%? I really do not know. What a lousy time for this. Don't know why but now i just fear exams, i just fear not able to pass them. I even fear not being able to make it up to year two. I hate this feeling but i just can't get it away. I have been at the top in secondary school and now i know the feeling of being at the bottom. I may seem to be able to leave everything behind and start the new year but this few days of resting just let me think of many things. I just can't put it down, the fact that i retain and all. I am just not myself. I just feel like crying. I really need someone who understand to talk to and not just anyone who think they know. I really need someone close whom i can really talk to and not afraid that he/she might tell others. I have never felt so lousy ever. I can't gather the courage to face the next day. Even now at this moment. Although i need not go to school tomorrow for the block test but i know i will have to face the conseqences. The thought of block test just freaks me out. No matter how spiritual i might seem to others, i am just not spiritual enough to face all this by myself. I just fear exams, tests and faiure. what i really need now is a good shoulder for me to cry on and a good and close friend that i can share all i am feeling with and even able to cry infront without worries. I have held my tears for about half a year and all my sufferings is like a cup filled with water and it is up to its brim. So many things just keeps stacking up and i just can't take them and just cover them up. A mere mortal man like just can't handle them all. Where is God when you need him most? where is friends when you seek them most? where is love when you desire most? So many things just keeps coming and time is just as merciless. Sometimes i just wonder how did i manage to hold on for the past six months? GOD i need you now!!!
today is a rare day i can rest at home. I use the time to pack my stuff and tidy up my notes and plan out my revision schedule. found many notes that can really help me alot in my understanding of the topics and some notes i can say is better for me and it sort of help me in linking all the parts together. looking at all the notes and some writings on my notes reminded me of many things. strange thing is that many writings is found on my econ notes. i also found some written diary entry amist my stuff and scenes just flash by in my mind. the first person that come into my mind is menghui. very long never mention about him in my post. have been really busy and no time to go out together. now i know how my friends are doing last time. i can really believe when they say they have not been to town for a long long time. maybe it is the secret to sucess. also reminded me of some old friends from primary school and secondary school which i have not been contacting recently or even since the last time we met. dianto is one i have not met for a long time. hope he is doing well in his studies oversea and will return soon for some good gathering with some old friends. not just people but also some locations just flash by my mind. some nice relaxing paradise in singapore which i have not been for ages. some nice eatery is also in the list of places i missed. to name some, i like the kayaking at pasir ris as we need not get any stars to rent not saying i am not able to get them but just don't want to. parkway parade and bedok interchange also offer great food which is inexpensive and some is also in big portion. so many things in the past that is so long ago is so desirable.
zihao blogged at 6/15/2006 09:04:00 PM
Tuesday, June 13, 2006
Went for cip today at some student service centre at yishun. we are suppose to organise an outing for some kids 5-10 years old and to bring them over to yishun park for the activities. the planning for the event was done last minute yesterday and it was not really perfect. the kids have some background and they may have some problem communucating. but again who doesn't have a problem? we all have our own problem in a way or another and actually we are not much different. i like working with these kids as i feel i can connect with them better but not of that young age. i prefer working with older children or even teenagers. i seriously have a problem communicating with kids. Had this two kid from the centre that helped us out and i don't know about the rest but i really want to thank them for what they did. really hope that i have another chance to work with them and maybe be a volunteer in the centre. Went to causeway point to eat seoul gardern with aloy, adeline and yiping and spent the whole afternoon there. yan chao was suppose to go with us but because of his floorball which dragged on for a long time and by the time he is ready, we are about to go. sorry friend, how about we go have another outing soon? maybe also go for a movie. i want to eat sakae sushi, i have not eat it for a long time liao and today was wanting to go but everyone just want to go for seoul garden and so never got to eat it.
zihao blogged at 6/13/2006 09:22:00 PM
Sunday, June 11, 2006
well, aviva open ended today and sad to say i can't go down to watch personally because of school and church. but i got to watch it over the tv. singapore wants to make badminton a more favourable sport but they have so little means for people to watch it. they should have it broadcast over the tv in channels like channel 5, so tv fans like me will get to watch it. Anyway, the mixed doubles and men doubles was Indonesia's to win and it was without a doubt as i feel that the Indonesia's men doubles was very strong. they are lightening fast and work well together and best of all they are a mix of left and right hander. i picked up a few pointers over the game and learn more about doubles than i used to. something i don't get it is the scoring. it is played over 21 points and is every ball counts. it is so taxing to play such a game considering a single mistake on either service will cause a lose of point. the game is also played with one server. that is so confusing. but all this is to make the game more friendly and easier for people to learn and play and without all the complicating rules. all this badminton made me feel the urge to get my racquet and book a court and play badminton. it seems so long since i played badminton and i really miss it. i can't imagine without badminton in my life and to go into army without badminton for a long time. not many can understand this feeling unless you really experience it. no food no sleep is nothing compared to the joy of badminton.
zihao blogged at 6/11/2006 10:38:00 PM
Saturday, June 10, 2006
today just played squash and it is my first time playing it competitively. It was not that difficult to learn as i have foundation in badminton which is the close relative of squash. It was fun although i lost my game. can consider going into squash when my badminton interest end. but i have to polish up my skill for my next game and i need to win it. anyone who knows squash want to teach me? i can get a coach to teach me. also, i am not a bad student since i have background for racquet sports. this holiday is half way gone and i have not start to enjoy it. i need more time to relax and enjoy and even to sleep. have been waiting a long time for a chance to eat sushi buffet or any buffet for that matter. don't have the time and the company to go for it. have alot that i want to do but have no chance to do it. it is like a never ending study. haven been to alot of places for a long time and don't think i will have the chance to go. sad.
zihao blogged at 6/10/2006 08:11:00 PM
Monday, June 05, 2006
super super tired from this few days of activities. starting from arts fusion to school and then to the leadership workshop during the weekends. not enough sleep, plenty of work, more stress and even rushing to be on time have led to headache and fever for me. sad me. really hope for a good 24 hour sleep. maybe i can do it on tuesday since i have no lesson on wednesday.
anyway, just want to say thanks to all who have been through all this with me together. hope you all are not as tired as me. also want to address to jiemin. she is like as busy a schedule as me or even more hectic. strive on man(or should i say women?). huishan is also another one that has been really busy with many stuff. hope she can recover soon and rest well. thanks to jiemin again for spelling my name right the first time. lets go for a meal together some time.
recently this three annoying person have been tagging my blog. its nice to see someone read your blog than to feel it is rotting. but please grow some guts to write down your name than to hid behind a nickname and criticise others. you all cannot match my skill in it. so just give up and grow some balls.
zihao blogged at 6/05/2006 07:02:00 PM
Sunday, June 04, 2006
two days of leadership workshop finally ended. It was fun in all and i have learnt alot from this two days. A leader is not what i thought a leader is. one that is able to lead others and get them to follow you. A leader is more than that and not really everyone can do that and even to excel in it. In the workshop, i have seen many kinds of people and sorry to say but many are just there for people to lead and some are just jokers and never will have the ability to lead people to success. One skill i find hard for all leaders and leaders wannabe is the ability to identify as one. when we are in leadership roles we just forget that we are in the body as well.
well, too tired to continue. haven been resting well for a long time. bye.
