Saturday, August 26, 2006

Don't know why but I feel a bit lost. Not sure what I am doing, not sure what I am working for, not sure why I am doing everything and not sure for whom am I doing it for.

I have been in mugging mode for like don't know since when and I am not sure if it helps in any way. Since studying is not for I go for, I don't know why am I still so focus on my studies. I should have gone to NS and come out to find myself working and doing some part time diploma. My interest is in business and not studies and I have went for many entrepreneur related workshops and took part in many of such competition and I have excel in all of them. Not just in my decisions making but also in foresight. I am quite a good entrepreneur if I can put it that way. In many entrepreneur event in my secondary school years, my team will always come out top. So any one interested in starting business can approach me. I tried to start my own business but sad to say, I can't continue because of not enough funding.

My days of no PE have cause my body to weaken and I am not as agile as I used to be. A game of badminton now takes a lot out of me and I am too slow for the moves I used to perform. I need to have some discipline to do more exercise to train myself and to get ready for NS life. Next year's badminton tournament will be my last to perform and I bring end it with a blast.

I have been doing some things which is not myself and I just regret doing them. Before anything, I would like to apologies for any foolish things I have said or done. I am not myself and I am compromising on everything that I am and I am sick of it. I like to fly free like a bird and not be tied down by what everyone says.

Somehow my future is not as clear as it was. I am not sure what I am aiming for in like. Nothing seems to work out well. I stumble on almost everything. I am not sure what I should do and not sure what I am going to do.

My friends around me keeps changing and I am confuse to whom my friends really are. So many changes and so many uncertainty. Where are my childhood friends when I need them most? Who is really my childhood friends? In fact, who are my friends?

I miss the life of no worries. Going home late. Not knowing what stress is. Every thing well planned. Not needing to do homeworks. Friends there to comfort. Friends there to go out with. Not worrying about not enough money. Eating good food with close friends.....

Miss all the wonderful things in life... Uncertain if they will return... I need a good friend there for me... Maybe a girlfriend... God I need you so...