Monday, November 27, 2006

I don't know why but I have this burden in my heart. There is this certain person in that keeps ringing in me recently. It is the cause of the envy, hatred and jealousy in me.

We might not know each other for a long time but I feel that I have known you for a long time. We have a lot of things in common and we do share interest in many things. We are just so alike in many ways and sometimes from his attitude and temper, I can just see myself. The determination and the way we think. But I just do not know how to tell him that I appreciate him around. I miss the every moment that we once shared. I can just remember every single detail. I do not know how to express my gratitude. His every single liking is in my brain and I just can't cast it aside when I see those item. Like what he like and dislike is just so clear.

I can remember this incident that happen that I can never forget. Another friend told me that he seem very sad and lonely when I went off with another friend for lunch. Maybe is that he still do not know much friends but I felt so sad and wrong that I left him there. I smsed him and apologies. I made a promise that I will always keep him company when he is alone. He made alot of sacrifices when going out with me. Like eating and the places we go. But everything have changed.

He has grown and know more people and made better friends. Now he have his own clique and goes to places of their own. Sometimes I feel that I am not much of a good friend that I neglect one's feeling. I am not saying that he cannot have his own clique but is just that there is a 180 degree change that I just can't accept.

I just want to wish this friend all the best. Although I do not agree with what he does and it is not right, but I do not want to say anything. Even within my power but I do not want to interfere. Hope that our friendship will return to what it was although it is quite impossible. Well dreams are the engines that keeps us going. Sometimes I think if you enjoy Badminton as much, then you might understand me better and it will not turn out like this.



Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Sunday, November 19, 2006

Have you ever wondered why you feel more relax when you are with certain group of friends? Is there any certain group of friends you preferred more than another? Do your phone's last call list always have the same names appearing? Is there any single person's name that your outbox and inbox always show?

The truth is that we always have a certain group of friends or a single person that we love to hang out with. Ever think about the person beside you in the lecture hall always being the same person? Or in Church that you always sit beside only one person. Is that just a coincidence? It will not be so. We always have a group of friends we contact most and the one person we hope to be with.

But is he/she the true one? Or is it just a fever? That this person is just a substitute until the 'right' one appear? A personal experience to share about this. I used to have this friend whom I feel we are very close. But I am wrong. Now that he is with another friend, I can really see that he is more of himself. He slowly fades away from my life that I don't even know if I had ever known him. What I am saying is that how can we be sure that the person beside us all the time will stay forever.

Just like in church when we can always see one person who used to hang out with one group out of a sudden stop hanging out with that group and treats them like total stranger. Isn't them the group you used to treasure? Isn't the person your best friend? Well this goes to show that nothing last forever. The world is always changing. Nothing is for certain. Everything is as good as it last. So we might not know if the name on our last call or received list will still be there tomorrow. Or the name we have on our inbox and outbox will still appear after a week.

Well friends are only friends when you have a common topic. Like will you ever see a cop having a drink with a criminal? Birds of a feather flock together(if I spelled it correctly). But how long will this topic last? Even MOE changes their syllabus now and then and nothing is forever. Once a common topic is not there, there is no reason for two to be together. Like best friends can be substituted by another. That is why there is always a substitute in this world. Nothing is truely unique and special.

- Nothing last forever, neither friends nor foes.



Saturday, November 18, 2006

As usual I have many days of celebration for my birthday. Not because I want to but is that I have different groups of friends who is so faithful to remember my birthday. I got to really thank all of them for it.

Thanks to all those who took time to have dinner or lunch with me. Be it an expensive grand one or a simple park celebration, I appreciate all of them. I am not that particular about the place but of those who are there. I wish that all my close friends can sit with me together and have a simple and inexpensive meal.

A great day out is not about the place but is the company that follows. I hate big crowds when everyone is in their own clique talking and not as a whole. My perfect number is not more than 6. I prefer even number too. I hate going out with odd number where sitting is difficult and there is an odd one out. It is also as if one person is left out.

My thanks goes out to those who have send me a message to wish me happy birthday. Many have also choose the perfect moment of 12am on the 14 November. I would really like to thank the few but I rather not because it is not good if I don't mention some. But the few is those I acknowledge as a brother. Also those that messaged me the subsequent days.

But amist all this thanks, I feel one year older. Growing older but still got alot of things left undone. Unlike other teens who yearn for a driving license, I long for a badminton coaching license. So many things undone.



Friday, November 17, 2006

Saturday, November 11, 2006

Is a close friend always your best friend? Does those around you know you more that those distance away? Many a times we enjoy the company of distance friend more than those that you see everyday.

I for one prefer to have distance friends. At least one thing is that there is more things to chat about. I am referring to those that was once you friend but due to some reason, you have little or no contact with. They share a history with you and know your past and now can see your present. There is things that you two do not know about each other and now you can really chat and talk things through. Unlike those that you see all the time who knows so much about the present you. But how many of them does know of your past? When it comes to a conversation, who can give a more joyful and memorable chat?

Who will know you better? Does your old friend judge you more or the new? At least the old friends know who you really is and will make sensible comment. The child you who was once so fun and people know of you as what they see and not of what you say. The chat will not be fun if all the story are those that of yourself.

I like going out with the Marist boys. They can be so fun and make a really good friend. They don't pass any unwanted comments and criticism. They can really play and do all sorts of things and not get angry. They are friendly and open. They can be really caring and a group of party-mate. Although I am not that close with them but we know each other for who we are and can joke about anything. At the end of the day, we will still remember each other and keep them in our heart. Like this group I have, even in their current school and friends, we still remember each other and have gathering now and then. They need not do so but they did.

My first group of friends that suggest to celebrate my birthday this year is also my Marist friends...



Thursday, November 09, 2006

So many things is happening recently. Just don't know what to do. Not sure what to record. 2006 is coming to an end and I have so many things undone. Maybe just share on yesterday night.

As usual went for G12 or what other recall as cell group. Had a good sharing and felt God's presence. After that, went to Tiong bahru market to have supper with stephanie's friend, Jason. He is really a fun person and very friendly. Quite open to strangers also.

After that, don't know why but went to deb's place to chat. We are like so call the pioneer of the G12. We just seat down and chat about everything. Our life, the church and even those around us. Chat until daybreak. We had some noodles at her place and I did the cooking. Then we started to pray for the G12. Prayed like don't know how long and many of us had leg cramp.

The last time we had such a talk is like 1 year plus ago. We prayed about everything. We also grow in the prayer. God has his plan to let the 4 of us having this chance to seat down and talk things out and pray. I think we will see a break through soon. letting God minister to us.



Sunday, November 05, 2006

Today I took a ride from Jason, friend of Stephanie to church. He is a young and successful person. Got 2 license. Went to church and receive a good message from Pastor Lawrence Khoo, pastor of agape church. F'dmonition which inspired me. Fret not, fear not, faint not, forget not.

After that, went with some church friends to have lunch. The group was new to me and I don't really know them well. Only remember like May, Ivan, Cindy. But well, as usual I feel better hanging with more mature people. Hate to go out with kids and disgrace myself. Had a nice talk at the hawker centre. Then went to Vivocity to jalan.

Not a bad place but is too crowded. We took like 10 odd minutes to find a parking lot which was a illegal one. Than the whole place was crowded and we jalan a bit that went over to harbourfront to have a drink. Went to the Breeks and ordered a drink and started chatting. I ordered my all time favourite, mocha. It is my favourite thing to do. Just have a good drink and seat around chatting.

After that we went with May to buy a bag she wanted and headed back home. But stephanie and I went to tiong to buy some things. She went popular and bought a file. I bought a VCD too. Then we went to look at the accessaries. I love this bag that I was looking at. It was affordable but I still have to think about it first. Then went to look at some clothings and took a long time at one shop browsing through the shirt. I love the bangle and the cross necklace. But well, still is about the cost. But my birthday is coming. Hope someone will buy for me. Lets pray.

We went to Tom and Stephanie after that. We spend a long time with some clothes. I tested like at least 10? Then decided to get this black shirt. Actually I prefer to get a tie more than a shirt. But well, what is done is done.

Hope to do this again. Just doing what I like, enjoying what I do and with pleasing companies. Best is some close friends is also there.



Friday, November 03, 2006

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Watched 15 just now and so many things just appear in my mind. I watch the FULL version and not the 20 over minutes version. But before anything, I want to wish all my A level friends all the best for the final lap. The last 100 meter. I will be praying for all of you. Lets enter Army together.

Royston Tan is such a good director. I love his movie. It is not like other movies in the market where it is just about the action and the script. It includes the feeling of individual and the emotions of the actors that we are seeing. I can connect to the movie and the feeling that Royston is portraying.

In the movie, the is no fancy props involve. It is just about friendship and what it is. 15 consist of 3 short parts and is about the same group of friends. Some remain close while some just turned bad. There is just so many common ideas I can connect with. "our friendship is as good as it lasts." "there is no eternal friends and foes." "life's greatest enemy, ourselves." There is also a few scene that is so touching. The one where Vynn, Melvin and shaun sit around talking. The one where Shaun help to clean vynn's wound and when they sleep together. The one where Vynn help to celebrate Melvin's birthday. The one where Armani come to the rescue. Etc

The show is totally focusing on friendship and the essence of it. Even with betrayal. How friends should be like and not with tinted spectacle. Sharing through thick and thin even diseases. Helping friends without any returns and to the extend beyond themselves. I really envy this kind of friendship. From what I see of everyone, I don't think it is possible to achieve this level of friendship. Is it just limited to the Ah bengs who can really experience this kind of friendship? I can only see this extend of friends in the delinquent marked by society. The "brotherhood" that is so overwhelming.

Seeking for the same in the world. people think that christians are bonded, but I think otherwise. There may not be true friendship even in a church. Weill it is just about human and the base of society. The self-interest at work. Searching....