Friday, December 29, 2006

LAST 3 DAYS OF 2006.

SO MANY THINGS NOT YET COMPLETED.

SO MANY FRIENDS TO CONTACT.

SO MUCH TIME TO MAKE UP.

MY FRIENDS WHOM I HAVE LET DOWN GIVE ME A CALL AND ASK ME OUT, I WILL DO MY BEST TO MAKE IT UP.

MENG HUI, LETS HAVE ANOTHER STAY OVER I HAVE SO MANY THINGS TO TALK TO YOU. I DO NOT KNOW HOW MUCH I MISS YOU UNTIL YOU ARE LEAVING.

HELP ME TO MAKE UP FOR THE WRONG THINGS DONE IN THE PAST.

I DO NOT WANT TO END 2006 IN REGRET!!!!



Thursday, December 28, 2006

well spend a nice night with meng hui and chatting with him. It is so rare that we have such a chance to do it.

It started when we meet at yishun around 6 plus. We do not know where to eat and start thinking. At the same time we waited for luke to come and join us. We decided to go to sembawang shopping centre to eat. But there wasn't much choice so we went to this thai restaurant to eat. Then meng hui want to meet christine at safra yishun and we have no choice to follow. I hate that kind of place actually. Pool club. Not saying I am lousy at it but true I have not been playing it for like one year so I am consider not too bad liao. Is just that the place is full of gangsters and not really a good place for christians to be.

It just seem that they are an item. So after that went home with meng hui. It is just because we haven been really talking to each other much. So I want to use this time to catch up with him before he goes to NS. There is just so much to chat about that I did not have the time to finish. Can you imagine that we stay up till 5 plus? than woke up at 2 plus. Than this morning, or should I say afternoon just stay at is house and do nothing. Things that happen and chat is confidential. But something do seems fishy.

Went home around 7 plus because I was to tired. I also have something to do. So I need to go home. While all I can say is that it is a well spend day. Hope we have the chance to do it again. The next time we have to be well prepared. It is just impossible for us to have the chance to be alone.



Monday, December 25, 2006

A great song I have here writes out how I feel.
To Ang Meng Hui, my friend.





Sometimes it's wrong to walk away, though you think it's over
Knowing there's so much more to say
Suddenly the moment's gone
And all your dreams are upside down
And you just wanna change the way the world goes round

Tell me, have you ever loved and lost somebody
Wished there was a chance to say I'm sorry
Can't you see, that's the way I feel about you and me, Baby
Have you ever felt your heart was breaking
Lookin down the road you should be taking
I should know, cos I loved and lost the day I let you go

Can't help but think that this is wrong, we should be together
Back in your arms where I belong
Now I've finally realised it was forever that I've found
I'd give it all to change the way the world goes round

Tell me, have you ever loved and lost somebody
Wished there was a chance to say I'm sorry
Can't you see, that's the way I feel about you and me, Baby
Have you ever felt your heart was breaking
Lookin down the road you should be taking
I should know, cos I loved and lost the day I let you go

I really wanna hear you say that you know just how it feels
To have it all and let it slip away, can't you see
Even though the moment's gone, I'm still holding on somehow
Wishing I could change the way the world goes round

Tell me, have you ever loved and lost somebody
Wished there was a chance to say I'm sorry (I'm sorry)
Can't you see, (ohhh) that's the way I feel about you and me, Baby
Have you ever felt your heart was breaking
Lookin down the road you should be taking
I should know, (I should know) cos I loved and lost the day I let
Yes I loved and lost the day I let
Yes I loved and lost the day I let you go

Last christmas
I gave you my heart
But the very next day you gave it away
This year
To save me from tears
I'll give it to someone special

Once bitten and twice shy
I keep my distance
But you still catch my eye
Tell me baby
Do you recognize me?
Well It's been a year
It doesn't surprise me
I wrapped it up and sent it
With a note saying "i love you"
I meant it
Now i know what a fool i've been
But if you kissed me now
I know you'd fool me again

Last christmas
I gave you my heart
But the very next day you gave it away
This year
To save me from tears
I'll give it to someone special

A crowded room
Friends with tired eyes
I'm hiding from you
And your soul of ice
My god i thought you were
Someone to rely on
Me?
I guess i was a shoulder to cry on

A face on a lover with a fire in his heart
A man under cover buy you tore him apart
Maybe next year i'll give it to someone
I'll give it to someone special



Sunday, December 24, 2006

This time of the year. This moment that everyone is celebrating Christmas, I don't know why but I choose to stay at home. I turned down my friends who are going to have a celebration tonight. Reading a book which my friend gave me for present. I find it hard to continue reading without having a emotional turmoil. I want to take this chance to tell my church friends I got your presents ready. I will give you all on Friday cause I got duty today and can't meet you all to give you guys.

I also don't know why I suddenly loss the interest in going out and celebrate. I just want to have a close friend beside me and not the whole world. Reading the book about friendship makes me hard to digest the details inside. In addition to the letter he gave, I felt like crying even more. My friend, you are never forgotten. What I promise I will keep. I am so emotional right now and I really hope I can talk to someone. Even at this moment when I am typing this, I feel like crying too. There is just so many things happening in this year that I am total lost in the transaction.

I suddenly feel that I have many things yet to complete and time is running short. I miss the carefree life and the unlimited time I used to enjoy. I only pray that this day will end quickly and await the next day to come.

Anyone going out tomorrow on Christmas day? Invite me out. I need friends to cheer me up. I am over the emo-meter. I need comfort. Reading the book and the letter makes it even worse but I am just so 'fan jian' that I just read it again and again. Who can help me now? God I need you! Send me some friends to keep me company! I will gather my courage and ask him. God I need you so...



Friday, December 22, 2006

Today went to school early to go for a briefing and meeting for Orientation group leader 2007. Heard the schedule for the 6 day event and as usual it was the YJ style of operation. Boring talks all the way. But there was some break through in the events that might bring some fun elements.

The school agreed to a day out for dragon-boating. It was unlike the usual and every OGL out there is just so excited about it. After a lot of talk by the student councilors, we had a break. I found out that I am so broke that I do not have much money on me. Not forgetting that I have to pay $15 when I reach school for the leaders package that we are going to get on the first day of school. I had to settle with just a pack of economic bee hoon and some sides which cost $1.80. I paid $1 for 2 pack of lemon barley to go with my food. I am so broke that I do not have even $20 with me.

After that came back for some games that the students are going to play. We are sort of testing out the game. It is call CSI, Crime Scene Investigations. It was not too bad but the time was just too long and it made the whole game very boring. But i hope the people will just do some changes to it. But nevertheless the fun is not in school. There will be a day that they will go for treasure hunt cum amazing race around Singapore.

It was Mass dance time. The most hated event for me. I cannot dance at all. The thing that makes it worse is that there are too many steps in the dance. My partner is hui yun. Thank God it is someone whom I know. Make some friends during this one day and two more days to go. Hope we can mix even better. If we are not close as OGLs, how can we close the bonds between the intakes?

Had dinner with huiyun and talked about some friends. I think God let me hear what she has to say and really do something about a friend. He is in a mess right now. Well that is another story. What I worry most in on the first day of school. I have to report at 0645. Which will impossible to reach in time if I go from Tiong. Any of my friends living in Yishun can put me up the day before, on the 2nd of January? Luke can I go to your house and stay over?



Thursday, December 21, 2006

It is this time of the year again. The time for presents and gifts and plenty of food. The time to buy gifts and burn holes in our pocket. Thinking of who to buy for and what to buy. It is just another time to have a big headache.

Well my point is not about all this, or maybe there is some link to it. Christmas is a time to celebrate and another day of holiday. But how many know the true meaning behind it? It is not just about the gifts that we can offer that is materialistic. It is about the gifts that is eternal. The relationship with God. But even for many Christians out there, we have forgotten all this. We put our focus on the gifts and buying of presents. We think about where we want to go with our friends and what we want to do on that Sunday or Monday.

We can say that we are holy, spiritual or whatever but on this day, most important day, what are we doing? Sharing the Gospel? Or just thinking of where to go with your christian friends? I am not saying we should not give presents and spent time with our friends on this day but we should not put it first before other things. It is not point debating this. Almost every christian will make this mistake. We spend so many hours buying presents and thinking what to buy for who. But we spent less than proportionate time praying and inviting someone to know God.

Another thing during this period is that we can truly see who is closer to who from the presents that they gift. The time and cost spend on the presents will symbolize how close a friend you are. Some gifts we can spent hours or even days to search for the best gift but for some, we can just get a gift when we step into any shops. From this, we can see how close the friend is. Ever wonder why sometimes some gifts are more expensive than others? The value of a friend can easily be measured by the cost of the present itself.

So after reading this, what are we going to do? Continue spending more time buying your presents? Or get down to really pray for that someone and invite that someone to church? Maybe to open your dusty bible and start reading it. For the non-believers, maybe you want to know more about this God and Jesus who was born on this Christmas day years back. It is still not too late to experience this. Call me if you need a prayer or to know about God. Also for those Christians who know you are wrong, can call me and we can pray together.

May God bless all who give unto him this day and repent on their mistake committed.



Friday, December 15, 2006

At this junction, many of my friends are done with their studies or coming to an end. Be it O levels, A levels, poly, J1 or University, the educational journey is coming to an end. Let's just take a moment to think about what will happen after that.

Maybe for some you might say that you will go poly or JC or even University even to the society to work. Whatever the case is, just ask yourself if it is what you really want. Is the course you choose for poly what you like or that you hope to seek a career in? Can you make it to a University like you claim you would? Can you make it in the JC subject combination that you want? Can you see a future in want you want?

I do not like to sweet talk or want. My friends always ask me to be encouraging but I feel it is not the way if we really want to encourage a friend. For example you know your friend will not be able to make it big in a JC and he is the make of a poly student. What do you do? I would tell into his face that JC life is not for you and you will not make it big and into the future you planned. Even if he hates me so be it, but he must know what is best for him. There is this Chinese saying that states that those around can see a situation better than those involve.

It is easy to follow what everyone wants. Get into a poly and enjoy life and slack. But at the end of the day what do we want? A lousy certificate that will get us no where but only into the society? Well if so, you have wasted 3 years of your life doing nothing. Or if you result is mediocre and you keep thinking you are very good and you can made it into a University and can do some super good course like law. Then you can keep dreaming. You know yourself best and don’t think like the old fashion way. Not just JC students can succeed. Try going poly or do something else. Don't be hard-headed, it will only injured yourself.

Seriously, I myself am not too sure of what I am aiming for. I am clueless and I dare to admit it. I do not want to go all the way and realize I made a wrong move. But the good thing is that I can think about that in my 2 years of NS. So for now, I will just do well for As and score a good grade that will open many ventures for me and think about where to go in my 2 years of NS life. I believe that in this 2 years, our ideas will change a lot and our thinking will mature even more.



Monday, December 11, 2006

My favourite show on TV.






Thursday, December 07, 2006

SOO BUSY EVEN DURING HOLIDAYS...

FRIENDS WHERE ARE YOU???

ASK ME OUT!!!! I NEED TO ENJOY!!!!

It has been a long time since I last ride on a bike. Miss the old time when Wilton and I just ride our bike in the night time and just tour about the neighborhood.

Now that my bike is spoilt, maybe I should invest in a new bike? But there is opportunity cost involve if I spend my money on a new bike. Less of good food, can't spend on my wife(my racquet). Most likely the biggest problem is that I will not be able to ride it when school starts.

Maybe I should just save up the money and spend it on a car instead. Anyway, I will be buying one sooner or later. But most likely not before I go NS.

Press STOP at the toolbar to stop the background music.






Wednesday, December 06, 2006

If for every hurt I suffered I pierce a hole in my body, the tattoo artist will find it difficult to pierce for me the second time he sees me.

zihao blogged at 12/06/2006 10:17:00 PM

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

As students, we see studying as part of our daily routine. But do we know the reason behind it? Why do we need it so much? Economist call it merit good but is it really one?

A few nights back, while I was chatting with a friend, we talked about this. We have been studying for so long but what have we achieve thus far? We spend so much effort and time in it that we do not know where this road will lead us. Lets just think of this question," where do we want to go after all this years of education?" Is it university? Or is it into the working field? Does all this studying really help us in any way?

We often hear of people doing a job that is completely different from his diploma description. A engineer doing a job that is related to cooking. A accountant working as a sales person. So are we making the right choice to spend our time studying? Do we know what we are after? Should we be spending all this time in vain? I do not have an answer to all this. The correct answer should be in everyone and we each have a different view in it.

Even if we are in the field of work that we have the qualifications in, are we able to get back what we put in? The time we put in and the capital we put in. Like many people think of art. Those who put in so much in studying arts but the society puts it in an inferior position. That it is a profession that well yield no return. So is it still a wise choice to invest in it?

Even for those of my age, at this last stage of our educational road we find ourselves stuck at this junction. Where do we go after this? Can we go to a University that we want? If not, where should we go next? To work? Or just tap into a family business if God planted one? There is just so many uncertainty in our lives that we do not consider when making a choice. Should we just sit down and talk to a friend or two whether we are on the right track? Or where should we go after this?

zihao blogged at 12/05/2006 09:00:00 PM

Monday, December 04, 2006

Press STOP at the toolbar to stop the background music from playing.

zihao blogged at 12/04/2006 01:58:00 PM

Sunday, December 03, 2006

Had a very busy Saturday. Woke up in the morning at 0830 to get ready to go to Linton's place for lunch and fellowship. He is just one great cook who cooks portions that are very generous. We enjoyed the food and some chatting. After that, went for outreach at Yishun area which lasted up till 1900. It was very tiring.

Wei Ann and I arranged to meet each other that day and because I have something on, I could not meet him earlier,so I had to meet him at 2000. It has been a long time since we saw each other. We were close friends during a period of our secondary school time. So no matter what, I will want to go and meet him. Even when I am dead tired.

When we meet, we had a short chat and I suggested going to town to meet up with another group of friends. But he did not really want to go because of his dressing. He clam that he was not dressing properly. But after great persuasion, he agreed to come along. We chat all the way to town and we headed over to cine because we do not want to go over to breeks to meet the rest.

At cine, we walked up to the top and as usual chating along the journey. Then we decided to head down to Pastamania to eat. We ordered some food and starts to eat and at the same time, did some catching up. We talked about our life, work, studies along the way. We chat about almost everything and anything that happened in this two years. After a while, the group came and we reluctantly join in because we prefer our dear chat at that corner. It was really fun and enjoyable. They suggested to watch a movie but Wei ann and I didn't want to follow. So we went off after chatting a while with them. We decided to head home as it was about 2300.

When we reached the bus station, we decided to walk back and do more chatting. So we walked all the way from town back to Tiong. Again we had a lot to talk about. Our life, studies, what we have experienced. Also about pass things that happened in our secondary school time. About the clique of three we are in, Benny, Wei ann and me. About the times when we just compete with each other in studies and the times when we go out and play during the O level period. It is just the best time ever. No worries about anything, no understanding of what stress is. The friendship we had.

After about a 45 minute walk, we reach Tiong. We saw the group again and join the in some chatting sessions. We chat about all the usual things again and had more to talk about as more issues are being brought up. We used to have fun and now it is just so far away. About 0145, the group wanted to head home. Wei ann and I still got a lot of unfinished talking and so, we started to walk towards his house and start chatting again.

It is just so unbelievable that we have so much to chat about and not get sick of it. Simple is just better that matterial things. We do not need a high class restaurant or a cosy chair to kick things off. We can just stand at the road side and chat about an hour plus and still enjoy the whole experience. Is was so fufilling. Nowing our dreams and just sharing with a close friend about our future and our troubles. It is not easy to find someone who understands.

We had a whole night of chatting, and we ended about 0500 in the early morning. We had so much to chat about that we are unable to finish. If we are not tired, I am sure our chat will continue.Haven had a nice chat like that with someone close for a long time. I am sure I will make another arrangement with him and even Benny to have such a chat again. we really need this kind of chat to keep our friendship close. There are details of the chat that I cannot mention but I should say it is all very enjoyable.

Good friends are hard to come by and a good chat-mate is also difficult to find. But I thank God that I have found a few. We talked about so much that I wonder have we talked an equal among to what we have been talking in the week? The distance we walked is also as amazing as the amount of talking we had. A simple conclusion will be that it is fun and enjoyable. I wish I had more of this.

zihao blogged at 12/03/2006 07:17:00 PM

Friday, December 01, 2006

Lets take a minute to think about the issue of end time. Imagine yourself at the last hour of your life and you are presented with the chance to change something of the past. What would it be? Your attitude? Or your reaction in a certain situation?

Many a times with our actions, we neglect the feeling of others. We also forget about the freedom of choice of another. So what will we do when we are facing the last moments of our life? Will it be the 'sorry' and "I'm wrong" that we want to say to that someone? I have so many things that I want to do and to say. I just hope I have the chance to let every thing happen again. I have so many friends I hope to keep in contact and so many things I wish I have not done.

Reflecting on all this, there is so much feeling that overwhelms me. Remember the first friend you had? The first birthday you celebrated with your friend? The first time you took a public transport yourself? The first time when you entered a school? The feeling you had when you had a crush? Or the first setback in live? Or the time when you are being scolded? The time when your best friend turn from you? There is just so many feelings that is in our memories. This is the time when we search out all this memories and savor all the good and bad times we had.

It is also the time to take out all the old photo albums we have and just flip through them. The naive looks we had and the carefree smiles. The old friends that seems to be forgotten and the one you admire. Is there anyone you miss among those photos? Or is there anyone you wish you still have contact with? It can also be that there is someone whom you owe an apology to. Take a minute and really look through our life. The things that have changed. Our attitude, feeling, liking and maybe even our looks. Time flies no matter what we do. Even if we hope to keep it there at our best moments of our life.

What is it that we want to do most? What will our reactions be? It is the last moment of all this, what is going through in our mind? How about calling up that old friend or even to sms him/her and just say how much you appreciate him/her in your lives? Even to mend a broken friendship or relationship that turns sour because of something stupid? Humble yourselve and no matter what, you might not have the chance to do this again. So why not put aside everything and do that one thing that you wish to do?

If you have that one thing you can change from the past, what would it be?????

zihao blogged at 12/01/2006 12:50:00 PM