Wednesday, October 03, 2007

October is a month of fear for many in Singapore. At the end of the month a major trial awaits many. The big A is around the corner. There is no avenue for failing and there is no option for mistakes.

I am stressed up over the drawing near of the month. I am nowhere near prepared for the major examination. Things are not going the right way no matter what I do. Worse of all, the stress from everyone else that is adding up. The question here is whether I can manage to handle it all. I know I can do better than this but I still not doing my best.

I really hope to rebel and not attend lessons, but there is something in me that is holding me back. No I am not afraid of anything but is just the responsibility in me that compels me to do so. I guess I will try to find time off my curriculum for my revision. Got to put in my best and refrain from all distraction. There is just too little time for me and I really need to plan well. I am going to ignore any advice that will go against my plans.

Worse of all, my spiritual life isn't doing any better. Temptations are killing me. I can't seem to do well in anything. Where is the help that will bring me through all this? Where is the friends who are once there to share my limelight? Is there no really no friends who are there when you are down? I am not asking for any of my churchmate to pity me, in fact, I am not expecting them to do anything for me. I have already gotten over it and looking ahead. Not sure how long will I be able to hold on, but I will try my best until I am too weary to try again.

Disappointments are everywhere and I have to overcome them all to reach the peak of my success. Friends or no friends, I will do my best to continue this journey. I will look forward to the glorious days ahead. Beyond all these suffering and pain I am going through.

People I miss: Meng hui, Dianto, Yew on, Choon poh, Wei ann, Luke, Eugene and many many more....

Stress level: 4000!!!/100

1 COR 15:58