Sunday, January 27, 2008

I have been doing camps since the start of the year. Nothing much changes but the way I view things have changed.

After meeting with so many different kind of people, I have learnt that every one have their own thinking and the way they do things. I must admit some ways are not really effective and some ways are just selfish. It just reflects how the person is and his character.

Frankly, I don't like some people from the company. But as long as I don't need to work with them, I am fine with it. I am not being judgemental but it is just the truth. I don't wish to hang around bad company but if those around me do so, I won't interfer.

Anyway, I will be away on camp for the rest of the week. I should be away for quite long. I hope to get in touch or maybe go out with my friends someday.



Sunday, January 20, 2008

It feel strange to be back in civilization after a week of camp. I am not getting use to it. The train ride feel so weird. I can't tell what is it really. Every thing feel so strange to me. I wonder if this will be the feeling when I am in army.

I think I got this withdrawal syndrome. I do not feel easy being near people and I always want to return home. Since yesterday, I have been sleeping for more than 20 hours. I feel so tired even after a good sleep. I want to be in camp now. I am not use to this freedom I have now. It is too free and I have nothing much to fill in this gap except for my coaching.

I hope that the next 2 days will pass by quickly and I will be back to camp. The seemingly familiar place where I need not worry about so many stuffs. My friends, I will be away but I will still be contactable. Where ever I am, if anyone really miss me, feel free to call or sms. But if you want to have a long conversation, sms me to check if I am busy with campfire.

Anyway, I will be back on the end of the month because there is going to be something big coming up.



Saturday, January 19, 2008

If anyone is wondering where I have been for the past 2 weeks, I am here to let the whole world know. But again, most likely no one even know that I am away. Anyway, I am still going to blog about what happened so that I can store all the fond memories.

I was with a group of new found friends that made me feel so enjoyable every second of the day. We share jokes and cover each others ass. Did things together and had lots of fun. No, I am not taking about army if that is what you've guess. I am talking about my job. Although I am new in the company, the others really take of me. They helped me with a lot of things and teach me many things on the way.

I am going to take on many more camps and probably I will be away from next week onwards all the way until the end of the month. I hope to be able to see all of the instructors I know in all the upcoming camps. We will make the camp the most enjoyable camp that we all have been to ever. I must say I am a little hesitance about the next camp. Young girls everywhere and I don't know if I am able to manage it. So I must really pray for a good mirror group to help me along.

For the moment, I will be resting for the next camp next week. I really miss the familiar environment that I am in. My comfortable bed and good food. I feel like I have been away from civilisation for a long time. While watching TV today, I feel like I have miss out on a lot. I must really catch up with time while I am still around. But the most important thing for me is still to sleep and rest. Going out will only happen if I am not tired.

Friends who is reading this and is seriously wondering where I have been to and is missing me, please leave a tag to let me know. I am hoping that there is at least 1. But again, my blog counter will show the number of people visiting my blog.



Tuesday, January 08, 2008

Romans 5

Faith, being the key to our living will bring us closer to God. For it is written, through faith that we enter the glory if God. Suffering produces endurance, endurance produces character, character produces hope and hope is the ultimate goal to God's love.

God sent his son to die for us and we can now be save through the grace of Jesus Christ. Before that, we were sinners. But Jesus did not despise us and even sacrifice himself so that we can be closer to God. Therefore, after he died, we are now closer to God and in so, we must be even more willing to do the work of God and harmonize in his work.

The result of sin is death. For when sin enter into this earth through Adam and Eve, death came along as well. This happened even in the beginning where the law wasn't even born. But the grace of God is different. It is birth through the death of one who brings along resurrection and life. With the death of one, we can all receive the gift of eternity and righteousness and rejoice in Christ.

The world is full of sins. Therefore as sin brings along death, the sacrifice of one for the sake of many will be glorified. Where sins abound, grace abounds even greater over sin. For in obedience, grace and mercy is brought forth so that we can enjoy the gift of eternal life.



Monday, January 07, 2008

Romans 4

This seems to be a turn in the attitude of Paul. Here, it speaks about the blessings of God and those who are eligible for this blessing.

In simple, everyone is eligible for the blessings of God as long as they turn from their old ways and admit of their past lawlessness. Those whose sins been forgiven through the covenant with God will also be able to receive the blessings. It is not only for those who have been through the ritual of circumcision but for those who isn't as well. In today's context, it means that not only the Jews, but all the others as well. Even us asians, chinese and all the others.

In this chapter, the word 'Faith' appear many times. It just prove to show that what we need is to have faith for the promises that God have for us. It is actually very simple. All we need to do is just to believe and what we desire, we will receive. In faith, all we do will be counted as righteous. But there is a lot of grey area which I am not going to talk about. If you wish to know, come find me.



Sunday, January 06, 2008

I feel like going into NS tomorrow. I can't find anymore things to fill up my empty schedule. Nothing seems to fill up all the empty slots. Not even my work which is like so irregular.

Don't know why but I am very moody nowadays. Can't really pinpoint the cause of it and I don't know what is wrong. Maybe is because I think too much or that I am too emo. But I can't control what goes into my mind. It is just the many random thoughts that goes through. I don't even know what is in there that made me so moody.

Today Ida say that my blog very emo. She is not the first to say that. Many others have said that my blog entries are very emo. I was unable to offer an answer to her because that is just me. I might appear cheerful but I am quite emo inside. What I feel is that there is no point for me to display my emo-ness to others. Why make the crowd emo together? As long as I don't breakdown, I guess it is harmless.

Maybe the solution to my moody-ness is a relationship? Maybe what I need is a companion? After all, it is almost time for me to get into a serious relationship. I am not that young to flirt and play around with girls anymore. Or maybe not. I don't think I am ready for a relation. I am going into Army soon and I love badminton too much to let go of it for anything else. Unless the girl plays badminton or any other racquet sports that I can play as well. But I am not going to think much about that.

Now what I can do is to find some happy thoughts to brighten up my days. Maybe my friends who are ready this can leave me a tag so that I will have something to do while at home. I know that there is quite a few people reading my blog. I don't mind criticism but please leave your name. I won't kill you or blacklist you if you do so. I just don't want people to get me wrong.



Saturday, January 05, 2008

Every wonder why time flies? Time is something we want to control but failed to do so. No matter what we do, time will still pass. What remains is only our despair and regrets.

How long is your longest friendship? I mean real friendship which you have constant contact. Not those you meet once in a blue moon and say hi, bye type. I am glad I know a few friends for about 14 years now. Some is just short of 1 or 2 years than this record. But even though we have known each other for so long, we will not get sick of it. There is always something interesting that pops into the conversation. Although the path that we have chosen is very different, we are not that much different inside.

Now, we get to meet with even more people and friends from all corners of the world. Our friendships is stretched even greater. We can call someone brother when we only know that person like a few months and sometimes a few hours. How much do you really know about that person? For me, I don't mind telling my close friends whatever they wished to know. As long as they asked, I will let them know everything about me. My logic is very simple. Good friends should know everything about each other. There shouldn't be anything to hide.

As we are growing up, we need more of such friendships. Ever so often we hear people say that there is no true friendships in the working world. I do agree to it. After all, we are all after some personal gains. Sometimes friends are being played out just to achieve some personal gains. Friends are so fake in this world where the fittest survive. You don't know when you will be sold out just to allow your so-called buddy to achieve something else.

My wish is very simple. I want to be able to retain my friendship with my old friends and better my friendship with my new friends.

Good old friends: choon poh, dianto, yew on, yun xiang, wei hao, jun kai, han zhong, wei ann, benny, Stephanie, gek peng, sook wai, hui min
New good friends: Elton, Eugene, Johny, Luke Phua, Meng hui, hui shan, marilyn

Romans 3

This is a rather complicated chapter. There is a lot of rhetorical questions. It takes about the status of Jews and Gentiles.

There will be black sheep everywhere. Although of the Jews were unrighteous and does evil, it does not reflect that their God is also the same. Even through their unfaithfulness, God is still faithful to them. But we can't find excuse to justify our sins.

Jews or Gentile, both are judge by God in the same way. No one is above another and everyone is equal before the law of moses and the father above. If there is no God in our life, death is at our doorsteps. Therefore, be reminded at all times to do what is just and right.

For we have all done wrong and we cannot use our merits to bribe our way into the kingdom. It is only through the grace that we are able to be redeemed. Therefore, we must be even more conscious of the law and abide it at all cost. Everyone will be judge according to the same standards and no one is above another. The only thing that differentiate us is by our righteousness and obedience.



Friday, January 04, 2008

Romans 2

This chapter talks about the judgement we made. In the ESV, the words are more simplified and it is more focus. To me, I feel that it is for all Christians to learn.

Whenever we judge people, we tend to forget to look to ourselves. When we look down on people who lie, do we not lie ourselves? No matter the intention, a lie is still a lie. Be it a white lie or for the sake of others, the fact remains that it is still a lie. When we judge people on the account that we ourselves have committed the same sin, we will be judge and condemn as well. Do not think that because God is forgiving and is merciful, he will forgive. Although God is mercy, he is quick on sins. So if you who knows God and sin, he will not forgive.

God not just execute punishment, he reward as well. For those who constantly do his work and for his glory went through hardship, He will justly reward. On the other hand, those who turn a deaf ear on God's word and is self-seeking, will bear the tribulation. God is fair and he will do according to what we deserve. Not just for leaders, but for every member as well. We will all reap what we sow.

Glory to those who have the word in their heart and do what is pleasing to God even in the midst of their hardship. Woe to those who have the word of God but neglect it and bend it to their own desires. At the end of days, God will judge the deepest of our secret. Our every desire will be put out before Him to be judged upon. So let our every desire and doing be honorable to God.

If anyone consider themselves to be a leader either by appointment or voluntary they must do and approve only those that is instructed by the law. For a leader must lead by example and be a life-example to demonstrate God's glory. If he who teaches does not practice what he preach, it will be an act of blasphemy. Even if he has been through the ceremony of appointment, he is no greater than those who have not yet keep hold of God's direction. It is the ceremony of appointment in the heart which is greater than that of physical process. Our ultimate happiness comes from God's praise and not man.

In short, this chapter is telling us to lead a life that is righteous. When the judgment comes, we are able to stand before the Father and say that what we have done is pleasing to God and deserve the praise of God. Our lives are all a mirror of God's love, mercy and hatred against sin.



Thursday, January 03, 2008

Romans 1

This work that I am doing now is part of my daily devotion, so for those who is not a Christian, you may choose to close this window. I am doing a insight on the work of Paul, starting from Romans. God lead me to this books for my devotion, so I guess I should do it in depth. I love the work of Paul because it is so straight forward. It points out all the sins and wrongdoings and the consequences of them, without twisting it to make it sound pleasing.

Paul as the apostle of God was chosen to preach the gospel to the gentiles. His school of learning, Gamaliel and also those from Christ Jesus have been the driving force of his ministry. Though he was faced with oppositions, he was not despair. Even when he was put in jail, he was still doing Gods work, in Acts16:25-40. Although he seems to be alone in his work, he is not. He has the constant company of God. Therefore, he is not afraid of all that is to come.

In Romans 1, Paul started this book by giving an account of himself and his mission assigned by the One above. Although many who have read this will skip through the detail, but it is a very strong statement that he has made. Here, he is reaffirming his duty. He proudly announce his calling and his work through the Father. He is not ashamed for who he is and what he is doing.

Paul, in his life was full of communication with God. He is always communicating to God and God is his witness for all that he has done. His only desire to to spread the gospel not for his own fame and glory, but to the Father above all creations. His gift to the gentile was to strengthen them and help them to be mutually encouraged. He is not bias to the Jews or the gentile. His goal is only to the far corners of Rome, so that everyone will be able to receive the gospel.

For the unrighteous who have heard the truth but did not honor it, or those who do are too proud to receive guidance, God will give them up in the lust of their heart to the impurities. They exchanged truth with lies. The worship the created rather that the creator; the golds rather than God. False prophets and those alike will all perish without the grace of God.

Those who choose immorality or moral acts will face the same judgement. For they dwell in their unnatural relationships. They are consumed with the love of those of the same make and ended up paying the penalty of their folly.

With the self-righteousness in their heart, they give themselves up to all sorts of sins. Those against themselves and those against those who are close to them. Be it deceit, covetousness, malice, envy, hatred, boastful or even slandering. Although they know that these are wrong, they not only practice them but also approve of others who does the same. The only result is death.

Although Romans 1 is so short, the words are very powerful. It points out all the sins that we thought is not wrong and that we can neglect on it. But the truth is not so. If we are slacken on all these sins and lust of the world, our only result is to be forsaken by God and his love. So let us not find excuses in our actions and admit to our sins before the final verdict is passed.



Wednesday, January 02, 2008

Ever heard of the tales of peter pan, little red ridding hood, snow white and the other what-not? These tales are all concluded with a happy ending and wonderful storyline which is almost the same. But I wonder if it is ever possible in the real world...

Peter Pan left a huge impact in my mind. A kid who refuses to grow up and have the greatest imagination. A close companion, Tinkerbell who is ever ready to put out her life to save him. Peter Pan also have a group of friends whom he brought over to Neverland because they have a sad experience which they eagerly wanted to give away. There he fight with the evil captain hook who have this hatred towards kids and the crocodile who bite off one of his hand.

Many a times I hope that I can meet Peter Pan and ask him to bring me to this amazing land where kids will not age and where happy thoughts abound. I can then leave this world and forget everything that have left a sad memory in my mind. I hate to think about all those bad memories when the day turned dark or when I am alone.

Growing up is so scary. The deceitful world where everyone is waiting to prey on another. Or the fact that everyone does things with a motive, even when making friends. Everyone just hopes to hear the nice things and detest all the negative comments. Unlike being young where every single soul is so pure and untainted. Being kids, you can say anything directly and not hide any feelings. Scheming wasn't even in the vocabulary of these kids.

If we were in Neverland, we will probably like it there and not wanting to leave. The companion of friends everyday, good clean fun and no worries is the key to living in Neverland. Everyone is so true to each other and without any motive in their actions. This is the life I am yearning for. I love to be with my friends, I love fun and most importantly, I love food. Did I mention that the food in Neverland is tuned to our imagination. That means if we image the food to be delicious, then it will be.

What more in life do we need than to have a close friend beside you 24/7? Our happiness is limited by our expectations. But in Neverland where time is of no importance, every desire in life will be worthless. Education, abilities and talents are of no use. Since we have all the time in the world, we can do whatever we want. In this sense, there is no need for all these worldly things we sort after with all our might.

My only wish now is to meet Peter Pan and ask him to take me back with him...



Tuesday, January 01, 2008

New year resolution 2008

Before anything else, I hope to gain greater spiritual maturity. I hope to be able to withstand any great blows in every aspect of my life. For example my A level result, I hope that I am able to accept any grades that I am getting.

I also hope to be able to get a few licenses by the end of 2008. For a start, I would want to get a coaching license then a kayaking license all the way up to 3 stars. If I have the extra cash, I would get a driving license.

I would also hope to be able to improve all my relationships with my friends. I want to let all my friendship blossom and grow strong. I will devote all my time to my friends whom have been with me through all these years.

A rather ambitious wish, but I will make sure it will work out. That is to start a mini- business of my own. I did some surveys and research and I am almost ready to step into the business world. I am not aiming for big money, but rather just a good foundation to start out with.

Without a choice, I will be in National Service. Therefore, I hope that I will be able to survive through all that is installed for me. Although it is not in my best interest to be in there, I will still give it my best. Hopefully, to be able to know more friends.

A new look and a new attitude will be my aim for 2008. I am who I am. I will learn to put forth myself and a new me to people. In the process, to learn more about myself and to discover the person deep inside.

Another important thing I need to achieve is to keep fit. To train up my body, not for showing off, but to prepare myself for the tough life in the army. I need to step up on all my workouts and double everything.

2007's 31dec was spent almost the same as 2006's. I was with the same person and at the same place, doing the same thing.

Did some catching up before the year come to a close. Well, it is one of my new year resolution which I am going to put up real soon. The topics we chat are rather sensitive so I guess I won't post up the content.

Town is still the same every year. With the few places packed with a big crowd and people waiting to countdown. At the same time, there is a big group of footloose color waiting to take advantage. Well, it is just the typical thing that will happen. Anyway, it is just once night.

Wonder if you will be reading this, anyway, I want to tell you that I really enjoyed your company for the night. It has been a long long time since we last hang out together and I was always wished to have the chance to go out with you. It is just that there is no opportunity.

With all due respect, I have already seen all this coming but I don't think it will be this quick. God already hinted me the whole outcome and I still thought it was my wild imagination. But don't worry, at least you have seen the truth now rather then when it sinks deeper.

Please don't give up on anything because of this. I believe you are stronger than that. Don't waste your money on those things which is not desirable. If you want, can use that money to buy me a meal. If you really need, then do some sports to relieve the pain that you are feeling. I promise that I will be there when you need me. You know what kind of person I am and if you expect me to just sit aside and watch you suffer and torture yourself, it is just impossible.

I don't mind late night calls to chat and I don't mind going out late. The only thing I mind is that you keep everything to yourself and suffer injustice. I don't think I need to tell you what the bible says because you will have already knew it.

Anyway, 2007 was a year of obstacles. Things happen and great trials awaits. The worse part is my A levels which I know I did not perform to my best. Friendship was also a great challenge in my life. But whatever the problem, I am glad I am able to survive to see 2008.

Lets hope that 2008 will be a new beginning for all of us. Things will be better in this new year. For me, it will be NS and result. What pain and anxiety.