The Dark Dark Night

Saturday, January 31, 2009

Can we really manage time?

We like to tell ourselves that we can manage our own time, but can we really do it? Is we the master or the slave of time itself? Who has the ultimate control over who? Can we really grasp the essence of time?

Time is something that is always not on our side. It passes so fast that we never had a chance to fully make use of it and to treasure it. The beauty of time is something that we will not be able to learn before it happens. There is alot of meaning for time if you search under a good dictionary. It tells us that no one can understand what time really is and no one understands it.

As mere mortal, we try our best to plan according to timing but never to understand the other aspect of time itself that we miss out. We always create buffer time for us to use before commencing on the next activity. But we never realise that all these buffer time added up can be use for another meaningful activity as well. There is only 24 hours a day according to layman understanding. Nothing more, nothing less. This means that we have limited resources but we have unlimited use for it. What we can do is to prioritise the important things first and forgo the others if we do not have the time. But we still can use put in buffer time, waiting time and what-not timing inside. So if we can plan better, why can't we do everything?

What I am trying to say is that we often waste time on things we planned for. Minimizing on the other uses of the limited time a day we have. For example, we train badminton for 3 hours a day and 3 times a week. But we put the rest of the time to waste. Why can't we use our lunch break or some empty slot in-between lessons for some simple training? Like wrist or footdrills which can take very little time. We rather let the time go to waste and daze around.

Time passes real fast and it is never on our side. With a blink of an eye, everything will be gone. Be it good or bad, everything will be history. Friends who are reading this, if you are going through good times or even bad times, make sure you treasure this experience. Once it is over, it will never happen again. You will not be able to relieve this particular moment of your live again.

There is only one 16th birthday in your life. One time you first went to your secondary school. Once that you have your first love and even your first crush. Treasure and savior every moments of your life and never let any second go to waste. Do what you want and do bold. You never know if you have the chance to do it again.

zihao blogged at 1/31/2009 11:55:00 AM

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Nothing much to post, so i decided to write something about myself. Sort of a self introduction to everyone. It can also serve as a reminder to who I really am. Amidst everything that has happened, I can still tell myself who I am and to remind myself not to deviate from it.

I am a Christian and I am proud to announce it. I am not like those Christian who tag themselves as Christians but their actions tells otherwise. I don't really drink, don't smoke, don't gamble, don't club or whatsoever. I tried not to scold vulgarities but it is really difficult. Why? Because I am in army. It is like the best way to get things done. To use the F word and all the other powerful vulgarities. But trust me, I am trying to cut down on it.

I don't have a girlfriend. Why? I still want to enjoy and play. I don't like to be tied down and stick to one. But I am waiting for her. The girl who is in my heart. Studies come first for her. Really hope that we can be together once her exam is over. Hope the waiting will not go to waste and will be worth it. It is the start of something new.

For my friends, I really value friendship alot. To me, friendship is something that cannot be toyed around with. I will do anything for my friends and everything will be worth it. If I make a promise to a friend, I will surely keep to it. Some people say it will be very fortunate to be my friend, but I feel that it is the way it should be. I differentiate friendship according to how it should be. Friends, good friends, best friends, brothers and acquaintance.

Outdoor is the best place for me. I really enjoy being outdoors. Doing things outdoor. Activities like camping, kayaking, rock climbing, trekking and even campfire. It will never be bored once you are out in the nature. Even better when you have everything you need with you. Best if your friends are there to enjoy it with you. What pissed me off is that people out in the nature complain about it. They are just too pampered and can't survive on their own.

Another favorite for me is to eat. I can spend hundreds on eating as long as I can enjoy it. It does not really matter if the food is really great. But it must not be too bad. It takes a good friend to eat with you that makes the food you eat to taste nice. It does not mean expensive food are always good. Sometimes a simple dish like carrot cake from a neighbourhood hawker centre taste just as good as a plate of steak from a high class restaurant. I don't mind treating my friends to a good meal if I have the money

I love to teach people as well. I am a badminton coach and a camp instructor. Now I am also a commander in Tekong to teach recruits as well. It is nice to teach recruits and even students. Once they get into the same frequency as you, that is where the fun really comes in. I have a lot to share with my trainee especially in terms of camping. To share with them friendships, bonding and a adventurous spirit. To teach them on what is right and what is wrong. I can also learn alot from teaching others as well. To make myself a better man.

This is roughly who I am. It is not exactly complete but I guess this will do for now. For those who just read this post and don't really know me, feel free to make friends with me. I don't mind having more friends.

zihao blogged at 1/25/2009 09:09:00 PM

What have I been doing? Well, last 2 weeks was fieldcamp. So, I was in camp all the way. For another 2 weeks. I hate confinement. It is really boring and nothing to do at all. But this is not the end. For this batch, there are more burnt weekends.

My carabiners is all spoilt. Now I am only left with a few. I don't know why I really love carabiners alot. They look nice and is very useful and handy. You can use them for any purpose. As a hanger, to hook things on, to look nice and even to lock things temporarily. Maybe is also because I love adventurous stuff so it links well together.

Yesterday went out with Brandon boy. Went to watch a movie which was really bad. I guess it was really the kind of show that kids will like but not adults. Inkheart was really bad. We were wearing the same color cloths again. I was wearing this milky white t-shirt while he was wearing a white Billabong t-shirt as well. After that, we went down to town to jalan. Actually was really walking aimlessly.

Since I didn't get to buy a present for Brandon boy during his birthday, so I make it up to him today. Actually wanted to get him one Crumpler bag since he love it, but he say he just got a new bag so we didn't buy it. Then went to see some shoes. Even went to limited edt shop to look. In the end bought this shoe at Paragon. The design was plain but since he like it, well it will be ok I guess. Hope it will be a good present for you Brandon boy. It is worth every penny for a good friend who is true.

Its Chinese New Year already. Today it is the eve, so reunion dinner tonight. I don't really like this kind of events. Always so many coordination and travel here and there. I don't really like socializing. It is just not me. But well, I have to do it or my parents will kill me.

One last thing to note. For those who think as a camp instructor I have a lot of campers as friends. I tell you the truth. No. Even for girls from tertiary institute that we fancy, we are not allowed to exchange contacts or whatsoever. We can be close and all in camp but after that, we don't mix. I don't add them in msn or what. Not even to accept their phone numbers. Only once in a while I accept them in my friendster.

Reason? They will forget me after the camp is over or maybe after a few months. So, no point adding them in my msn or friendster or contact list to waste the space. Whats more, I did so many camps and if I need to add them, how many friends do I have?

zihao blogged at 1/25/2009 11:51:00 AM

Saturday, January 10, 2009

This week's highlight, camp with Boon Lay Secondary. The same school I did last year. I put in alot of effort and tried to have the best camp I can and the best camp I can give.

I actually want to do this school despite having the chance to do others. There is no instructor that I know and all of the other instructors are new. Another shocking thing is I choose to take a normal technical class. It is the most difficult class to handle. I am being too ambitious I guess. I love campers from Boon Lay Secondary. I hope I can have more time with them.

The camp is in JBAC. My home away from home. This time I put myself to the biggest challenge. Since I am the only one there that did the most camp, automatically I am put in charge of everything. Meal, orderly, song session and everything else for that matter. I was even questioned and confronted by the camp commandant of their school. The song session was mine all the way. But I think I did not fail to do anything I set out to do.

The only thing I regret was not to have enough time with my own group. To mix well with them and to make friends with them. I guess this is the only regret I have for this camp and the biggest regret I have. The campfire was quite a success even though it wasn't up to the mark of a successful CHA campfire. I really wanted to make friends with the campers and know each others better. Well, better camps will come.

For all the campers I have that is or might be reading this, if you want me to appear in your school camp again, tag me. But make sure it is my company that is running the camp. I will make it to some of the fun schools this year. I love what I am doing and I will do more of it.

One last thing, all the best in your trial for national team and youth team Brandon boy. Wushu is your thing, make it shine.

zihao blogged at 1/10/2009 10:05:00 AM

Friday, January 02, 2009

zihao blogged at 1/02/2009 07:10:00 PM

Thursday, January 01, 2009

Guess how I spend the New year. This year I can go out with Luke and spend the last day of 2008 and first day of 2009 together like the last 2 years. Sounds gay but not really. Nevermind.

Anyway, I spend my New year doing my Company Orderly Sergent(COS) duty. I was in the office watching the countdown party. It was the eve of a holiday so there was no one in the island except those on duty. So I don't need to perform any duty. Just stay at the office to answer calls and to attend staff parade. I am alone in the company without anyone. So what I did was to sleep, eat and watch TV.

It was a sad year end. Duty on the eve of Christmas and New year. Plus event on the 2nd and 3rd of January. I am really missing being on main land. I rather be more taxing and more xiong in Guards than to have no freedom on the island itself. Now I understand why everyone want to leave the island once they have the chance to do it.

I am now trying to take leave. Mainly to rest and relax myself. Haven got the chance to really rest well. Another reason is to go and do camps. I really miss doing camps and the life of freedom. To be the boss of myself and not having anyone to breath down my neck. I can really talk with the kids and mix with them. Most importantly to share my stories which they are interested in.

How I wish I can be a full time camp instructor. To be free and really do the things I want without any constrain. To really be myself and be free to do anything. The joy of teaching people and to bond with them. End of the day when they say they miss you, it is what makes me most satisfying.

zihao blogged at 1/01/2009 08:01:00 PM