Sunday, August 27, 2006

Faith is the key! 2 Timothy 1 tells us that when we have faith in God, what ever we entrust in him and believe he will accomplish, he will do the job. This is what I yearn for. The answer to my question. At alter call today, my tears nearly fall but I clear it away. I need this to solve all the problems I am facing.

But one problem is that I don't know how long I can keep it going. I am in need of a break through. I need God more than what I am getting now. I need more prayerful lifestyle and I need the comfort more. I am down and almost out and not sure who can help me. I find it hard to maintain my Faith. Not sure is it my lifestyle or it is who I am. My emotions getting the better of me and me not being able to let go once I put it over my shoulder. Maybe I am just more of a emo freak than any others can be. I tried to put up a false me infront of others and I can't keep it going. I will start losing my temper soon. Don't think I laugh and joke means that I am ok with it all. I just don't want to make things tense.

Miss the good old days. Suddenly miss this grass jelly drink from a dessert stall near PS. Not that the drink is fantastic but I miss the container. There is this seal plastic wrap that have some nice chinese poem that speaks alot. Let me share one: " zai mang ye yao zao ni he ka fei, zai leng ye yao ting ni shuo siao hua, zai fan ye yao ting ni shuo xin si, zai lei ye yao gei ni chuan jian xun, zai ku ye yao he ni dang yi bei zi de hao peng you". Even when I type this down, many things appear in my mind. Not going to say to much. It will make things worse. Maybe the company is what makes the whole experience enjoyable.

So many stories to tell, so many words to share. All the memories to forget. Just have to trust God and have Faith that He will make things work out. No matter how busy I will still enjoy that coffeee and that chat with you.....

Emotions getting the better of me. What can I do? What should I do? Who can I turn to?