Saturday, September 02, 2006

This two days of holiday was somewhat boring. Nothing much to do but to waste my time away. Did nothing also. I can't go on like this. I can't waste my time doing nothing. I need to find some life out there. I want to go kayaking. I want to go makan. I want to play badminton. I want to do so many things and I am running out of time for it all.

Well totally give up. The feeling is not there anymore. The chat was not there and there is no common topic. I give up. I am somehow out of it and feeling cold from it. Nothing seems to affect me anymore. We all have something we want and it is good we go after them.

Today I feel something different. The church I am in now is totally different from the one I used to go and the one that I like to go. It is a totally different Evangel family. Although some people might be still there but the feeling is different. Their appearance is not the same and the air that they put up is greater. The usual group of friends is no more the same. I am still me and I still hold on to what I believe, but the old group of friends are thinking differently. Even one who used to be my close friend have a new set of believe and action which I never go with.

I really miss the good old days. The old group of people. It is just not the same. I am just not who I am. Every one have change and everything have change. MAybe I should go to another church where I feel that I belong there and I can agree with what is happening.

Where are you when I need you? Who is it that I seek? Why can't I find?